Dear Old Me, by Gabrielle

Dear Old Me, by Gabrielle - April 2021 Scholarship Essay

Five years ago, I wasn't exactly the most confident kid. I was too worried about other people's opinions about me, having a lot to do with the way I dressed and the way I presented myself. I was very shy, socially awkward, and my wardrobe was limited to hoodies, which were the only articles of clothing that I was truly comfortable with wearing. My grades were slipping because at the time my ADD was undiagnosed and I wasn't getting the assistance I needed to succeed. I was becoming unmotivated to do anything anymore, including soccer, which I loved and had been doing for many years then.
So, to the old me, I would push for them to never give up hope. No matter how bad a situation was looking or how complicated things were becoming, I would beg for them to not give up. Grades, GPA, and everything about state testing matters and sometimes I think I forgot about that. I would tell the old me that nothing comes easy, to keep working hard and stay motivated throughout everything that is thrown at them.
Another thing, please continue loving soccer. Old me, I know you loved it so much. The fame, the competition, the satisfaction of winning each game, you lived for it. I know that when things got harder, you lost your love for it. Please, don't give up on it. You met so many great people through the game and I don't know why you suddenly changed, why everything became so difficult, why you suddenly just didn't want to go anymore. I hope that you can forgive me, your future self, for not playing in college as we planned on doing.
Lastly, old me, just be yourself. Everyone loves you for who you are, not for who you decide to show them. Just be wild and free because I promise you, you'll make more friends by finally opening up and being yourself. You've made more friends by being you than you ever did being someone else, so keep on doing that.
There is nothing wrong with the old me. Sometimes, present day, I wish I was her. She was happier at times, a lot less stressed about everything going on. Sometimes I wish the old me would let her happiness out more and share it with the world. I love the old me and I hope she loves me.