Make More Mistakes by Erin

Make More Mistakes by Erin - February 2017 Scholarship Essay

I used to hate the word 'failure.' Who wouldn't? It is a harsh word indicating lack of success, and no one likes a lack of success. Success should always be in excess, and when it falls in the negatives it can be a rather disappointing sensation. Yet it is something we all experience and I have come to realize how important it is in improving future chances of success. It might sound cliche, but there truly is value in learning from your mistakes. That being said, I have made many a mistake and I know I am bound to make more. Strangely enough, I find myself looking forward to making more mistakes because it is one of the best no-fail ways to learn new things.
I want to make movies - one of my favorite pastimes is watching movies and trying to understand how they are made, then setting out with amateur video camera equipment and a ragtag crew of bored friends to make our own movies. In my short-film-making endeavors, I have encountered many issues. For one, it takes a lot of work and even more perseverance. Did I mention patience? The work I was ready for - the perseverance and patience I was less prepared for, and it has been a tedious learning process. I have scrapped so many good story ideas because things just didn't work out - camera issues, actor issues, location issues, prop issues, and plot holes galore have riddled my attempts at producing cinematographic masterpieces.
These failed attempts led to major frustration. Every time I trashed a script because my actors had given up after too many takes I would feel like such a failure. I would rack my brains with relentless fervor because I could not accept the failure - I would not accept the failure, and I would pester the actors to return. Failing to accept failure is where I really went wrong, and we would return to shooting and make the same mistakes because nothing had changed. I realized I needed to evaluate my failures and make appropriate changes in my methods of production before giving it another shot.
Once I realized the most important step in film production was in accepting failure, things started going much smoother. Sure, we fail certain projects. Sometimes the problems can not be remedied, but the failure makes room for newer, better ideas. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, "Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail."