Relationships and Your Education by Emily
Emilyof Mesa's entry into Varsity Tutor's September 2015 scholarship contest
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Relationships and Your Education by Emily - September 2015 Scholarship Essay
Education is an integral part of life. Life finds a way to teach you things in different ways than you thought you would learn them. Last semester in school, I had just gotten married and it was amazing… at first. My husband had started to show parts of him that I had seen before but started to actually see what those parts of him were doing to me. Relationships are a lot like an education. You have to nurture it, be on top of the homework before it piles up and you also have to make time for it all in your busy life.
There was a recent experience that taught me about how to be a better student through a relationship I had with my soon-to-be ex-husband. Things were okay but not at all good but I didn’t see the red flags until I married him. That’s like grades that you get in class. If you ignore how bad they are they won’t improve until you realize what to do about them.
One of the red flags was that he would bug me all the time about where I was and that I had to be right there next to him when out shopping. That is like an education. I realized that I needed to separate my schoolwork from the other parts of my life and just deal with it and get it done. Once I did that and implemented the habit into my daily life of being a student, it was much easier to focus on my education.
Another red flag was that he didn’t seem to care about my interests but when he was interested in something, I had to be a part of it. You have to make time for yourself and your interests. Sure it’s fine to just be a homework genie and just snap your fingers and your homework is done, but you have to take breaks in between. In other words, business is great but breaks are better. If you don’t take a break then you run the risk of burn out. Burn out in that sense is also known as resentment in a relationship. That happened a lot more often in the last part of our marriage. That’s not to say that you should take a break from your relationship. You would just give yourself some ‘you’ time in another room or visit your mother or go out for a night on the town. Bottom line: working on homework is great but don’t over-do it! You’ll just give yourself a headache!
And, the last of many red flags that I’ll share is the fact that he loved his car more than me a lot of the time. Which I can understand because guys love their cars (which is fine because I love cars too) but I just wanted him to treat me better in general and I wanted to start with that. There are more things that are just as important, if not more important than homework and the stress that usually comes with it; such as bills, or family get-togethers. You can do homework anytime, you don’t need to put off such things just to do a few math problems or type up an essay. That’s not to say that you should procrastinate doing your homework but you do need to analyze the situation and take needed family time and or get the bills paid so that you don’t add on the stress from life onto your stress from homework.
A lot of people generally say that they wish they never met their ex-significant other. But, all in all, I learned a lot from the relationship with my soon-to-be ex-husband; educationally and relationship wise in general. First, separate your homework from your stresses in life and just get it done. Two, learn to take breaks and beware of burn out! And, three, homework is not the only important thing in life and you need to take care of those important things too! During all of the turmoil, I sought a professional, who was educated about that situation so I could educate myself and that is just like getting tutoring for things in your education that you need help in. I realized how important an education is in school, and in life situations and that it’s okay to ask for help.