On Being, Loving, Creating oneself by Emily

On Being, Loving, Creating oneself by Emily - November 2019 Scholarship Essay

The first month of sophomore year I remember walking in between buildings with a friend to get to class. When we saw our reflections in the glass doorway, she made a comment I’ve yet to forget.

“Look at you, you’re so cute. I’d dress like that but I’m not as pretty or skinny.”

I certainly didn’t consider myself ‘pretty’ or ‘skinny’ at the time, and it boggled me to think someone else did. What followed were several very life-altering observations. No matter who I was talking with- be it tall, short, fat, thin, black, white, proud, shy, well spoken or silent- everyone thought they were beneath someone else. A lot of it was physical appearance, especially in young teenage girls. Unsurprising, but upon further research, incredibly concerning. I was horrified to learn that Anorexia Nervosa is the most lethal mental illness- more than depression, anxiety, borderline, schizophrenia, or insomnia.
Thus began a need in me to understand and undertake disorderly eating and its causes. I researched, compared studies, sought advice from experts, and debated every piece of information I could get my hands on. Many writing projects became a project in speaking out and spreading correct information. I was even asked to speak to a group of younger students whose friend had recently gone in-center for severe bulimia. I explained what it entailed, what made it hard to overcome, and what they could do to help. Many people, those girls included, were surprised to learn that complimenting an ED patient’s body does them more harm than good.
I was able to positively impact my high school by noticing those who seemed most likely to suffer from ED and to reach out; to get to know them, understand them, and counter any negative beliefs they had about themselves. It became clear to me early on that appealing to a sufferer’s emotions was pointless- they were very unlikely to be swayed by praise, positive interactions, or meaningful quotes. Rather, I found that most people responded best to simple and unbiased logic.
For example, a friend who struggled to feel beautiful was also suffering from chronic medical conditions. While she wanted to lose weight, I talked her into doing things that would ease her symptoms first. The habits we formed together were healthy by nature, and while she did lose a bit of weight, she was exponentially more confident because she was less debilitated.
I’ve brought to light the tricky way that EDs come about- and how to counteract them in both yourself and in others. By being open, caring, and willing to listen, I gave those who needed it a chance to be vulnerable about their biggest insecurities.