The Power of Silence by Dominic

The Power of Silence by Dominic - April 2021 Scholarship Essay

Although the awkwardness of middle school is unavoidable, and in some ways teaches many important lessons, if I could spare my 7th-8th grade self some of it, I would. At the heart of what I think would be important for myself from 5 years ago to keep in mind is that it is often advantageous to listen and observe, rather than always trying to take center stage.
In middle school, I was quite a talkative kid. I knew a lot about a lot of things and wanted everyone to know that. I valued being seen as smart above all else, thinking that it was my ticket to respect, at the detriment of being a person people wanted to be around. I always spoke my mind and shared what I thought, but I found it difficult to read the room and see when my peers didn’t appreciate my contributions to the conversation. My warped perception of social relations cost me many potentially valuable close friendships.
It took several years later, when I found myself on a scholarship to study Korean in South Korea, for me to learn my lesson. I arrived in the country with almost no Korean skills, and found myself unable to talk in many situations. I was forced to listen closely to what others had to say and observe their mannerisms. During this time, people began to see me as a pleasant person to be around, not because I was “smart,” but because I was seen as an empathetic listener. Additionally, Korean culture has a concept known as nunchi, which means the art of sensing and gauging other’s moods. It is seen as just as important to communication as being able to express oneself verbally, and it is a skill I certainly lacked before arriving in the country, but I slowly became proficient in.
After the experience of a summer abroad, I decided to apply what I learned even to situations where I was fully comfortable in the language. When I began to take a moment to listen to others and keep less important thoughts to myself, I found myself to be a more agreeable person, a more effective leader, and a better friend.
So if I got to say something to myself from 5 years ago, I'd first reassure him that great things are in store for him, and then try my best to impart on him the value of listening and observing. He would still face challenges and obstacles along the way inevitably, but that lesson makes things much smoother for anyone in social situations.