The Terror of AP Calculus BC by Cori

The Terror of AP Calculus BC by Cori - August 2014 Scholarship Essay

I sat down in the counselor’s office and cried. My high school counselor, Ms. M, handed me a few tissues, asked me what was wrong, and then waited in consoling silence until I was ready to talk. Through my sobs I tried to convey the source of my troubles: Disagreements in concert band, and then in AP Calculus BC we got back a test on which I had received a failing grade. Add in another calculus test that I wasn’t ready for, and then top it off with the looming deadlines for college applications, and the morning had been utterly unbearable. Ms. M continued to listen with concern as I explained further.

I didn’t think I could survive another second of calculus, but we were only a bit over a quarter into the year-long course. I simply could not grasp the ideas that were presented in class, and although I spent every available second outside of class going over the concepts with the teacher, I rarely had the “aha!” moments that I so needed and desired. I was used to understanding not only math but most other subjects as soon as the teacher explained them, but calculus was proving to be a much harder class than I ever expected. I did not sail through with ease, and progressed slowly with only occasional bursts of understanding.

Ms. M calmed me down, assuring me that I still had plenty of time to understand calculus before the Advanced Placement (AP) test in May. She encouraged me to re-set my standard for how I learned: I needed to spend more time than I was used to on calculus, not only doing homework, but finding videos and explanations online of the ideas I was having the most trouble with. I had to understand that I would get through the class; maybe not with the “A” I was used to, but with a passing grade if I put in lots of extra effort and study both in and out of class.

After this semi-reassuring and semi-terrifying pep talk, I left Ms. M’s office with new resolve to beat through the mire of complicated material and come out the other side with a passing grade in the class and a passing score on the AP test. Every day in class I tried harder to pay attention to every word the teacher said and take notes on every problem he put on the board, and when I went home, I spent hours doing my homework and watching videos to better my understanding of what we had learned in class. It was extremely slow going, and very frustrating work, since my test scores barely seemed to rise at all and I did not feel that my comprehension of the subject was improving all that much.

However, slowly, over many weeks, I began doing better in the class, my scores increasing slightly with each test, improving from failing 50%s to upper 60%s and finally to low 70%s. Each evening I chose problems from chapters of the book that we had already covered, in addition to the assigned homework, and was actually able to do many of them without using my notes and without having to look up clarifications on the Internet. I was finally making progress!

When the AP test suddenly loomed on the calendar in just a matter of weeks, I felt confident that I would be proud of whatever score I got. I had prepared as best as I could, and I had created many good study habits and found numerous wonderful resources online in the process. Knowing how far I had come, from bawling in the school counselor’s office to sitting at a desk ready to take a four-hour calculus test, I felt sure that in future times of academic struggling I would be able to keep panic at bay and push through any abstruse information in any subject. Also, I would now be able to pass on my tried and true methods to students who I tutor, and recommend to them the best places to find reliable information online. I now have a much stronger belief in my abilities than I did before I endured AP Calculus BC. I rarely had to struggle so much to achieve good grades in a class before, so I had never tested my academic survival skills. Now I know they will serve me, and others, well whenever the need arises.