Speech impediment by corbin

Speech impediment by corbin - December 2019 Scholarship Essay

Speech impediment
Growing up was not easy when you have a lisp or a speech impediment . In my case, it was a struggle especially on first days of school. In first grade, it wasn't that bad because a lot of kids had like a speech class but everyone grew out of theirs but little ol’ me.From first grade to 7th grade i took a speech class and i did not help one bit. I stopped going because I hated going it never helped. It was soo bad that they had me down for an IEP. Even teachers would laugh at me thinking I was joking.
This affected me way to much, I was really vulnerable self center i hated meeting new people.My “R” were pronounced with a “W” most of the time color was colowa I hated when people would ask “can you repeat that,” like i don't want to but if I have too. Even teachers would have to ask me what's my name multiple times it's embarrassing and really really irritating; for the people that did know my name would be laughing. All I heard was laughter even though it wasn't loud the voice kept replaying in my head it would get louder and louder and I would just have an anxiety attack.
Up until my first year of highschool when people made fun of my speech it was a problem like anytime someone brought it up. it wouldn't matter the situation it was just “your ugly”
“Oh yea well you can't talk right so yea,” I'm Not going to lie there was a particular time where i tried to act like nothing affected me not trying to be the tough guy just more like nothing hurts me guy, but that went all wrong.
One day early in the morning on the first day of school Of my 6th grade year i'm in class, you could smell the expo marker, but not a lot of people are in class because everyone is seeing their friends or people from their basketball teams and more. As the teacher is trying to get everyone in class and my teacher is going to get the class started and her doing that made me happy because I had stage fright because I couldn't talk right there were 5 students and i was the third one and the questions were the same “what's your name and what's your favorite color” all i was thinking in my head was damn I can’t say both of those, like imagine having a speech impediment but everyone asks “ive never heard your accent before where are you from,” what am I supposed to say i've only lived in portland my whole life.
It was finally my turn i tried to dodge everything with “R” in it
The teacher said “Hello, what's your name,” there was a long pause, I couldn't find the words or the courage to say my name
“ My name is Cowlbin and my favowite colows wed,” I whispered
“What’s your name hun you're going to have to talk louder,” I thought to myself that I was going to get it over with before anyone else come in because it was going to be even worse for myself.
“My name is cowlbin and my favowite colows wed,” the whole room was filled with laughter I didn't know what to do all I was hoping was the teacher was going to stop them from saying stuff and stop them laughing, but she was laughing too a tear dripped down my face. Then I thought I had to do that 3 more times that day so me hoping the kids were not in class I know that everyone would laugh next period and next so I thought I could say something myself……. My first mistake
“Evewyone just shut the fuck up,” the room stop it was completely silent like a ghost town A kid stood up a ugly one too he had a big head, light skin boy a little bit taller than me
He said “who am i everyone, I can't talk wight and i talk like a baby.”
“Oh well what's your name bitc-.” The teacher cut me off
“That is unacceptable language sir i'm going to need you to leave!”
Why would the teacher say that? Why did she put it all on me? How come the other kid didn't just go into the hallway? Why just me ? these thoughts were flowing in my head as I watch the students who were in the hallway come into class I could hear their whispers but, little did they know that it wasn't my fault it wa- I stopped my own thought all I could think about is the boy's name flowing in my head like a river Asim Asim Asim.
So anytime that a kid makes fun of my speech I really don't care about them like that it's not really a big deal to me it's something i can't control but i no longer take offence to that buffoonery.