The Blessings of Failure by Connor

The Blessings of Failure by Connor - February 2017 Scholarship Essay

Man’s tendency is to look back upon their failures in life and attempt to fix them, despite the fact that fixing events that have already occurred is impossible. Rather than changing the past, one should ask themselves, “What did my failure teach me and did I change for the better?” To me, failure was a hard, but crucial lesson, the first stepping stone on my journey to become the strong, capable individual I am today. Failure shaped my personality and unveiled the truths of my character, allowing me to discover who I truly am. Ironically, even if given the opportunity, I would not fix my greatest failure, as it became my greatest success.

Junior year of high school was a tumultuous time in my life, the scene of my greatest failure and success. In high school, the need to belong and fit in with peers is a craving every teenager experiences. The group of people you identify with is central to your passage through high school. My group of friends was a typical, even mix of the sexes, from different backgrounds, and in my case, long-time friends since the elementary school playground. I took great pride in fitting in, being included and having a great time with this group; it was every high-schooler’s dream, a feeling of pure ecstasy. However, like the effects of the any drug, the high has an inevitable end.

Change is inevitable in life, just like death and taxes. High school is one of the pinnacles of change, where you can truly develop into whoever you want to be. As I seemingly stood still, immune to change, the group I had found myself a part of was whirling away from me in a storm of change. I was the debris tossed out by a tornado, as it rips through a town, my seemingly solid house torn apart. My peer group became a haven for the stereotypical reckless behavior and choices teenagers are known for, impulsive risk-taking and endangerment, alcoholism and drug use, as well as disparaging, demeaning, toxic personalities. The wrath of the group descended on me, when I stood unrelenting to their verbal assaults and pressure and refused to stoop to their level by participating. Being ostracized, with all bridges of friendship I had ever built burned, threw me into a bitter, resentful, and depressed state.

Failure is a deceptive concept, a demon taunting you, constantly reminding you of your greatest pains, and twisting a dagger into your open wounds. My steadfast resolve not to change had tricked me, as my failure to undergo the metamorphosis of my friends hadn’t spared me from change’s magical wand. In complete lucidity, my refusal to adapt and conform had escorted me to an opposite path, meandering away from the path of my group. Robert Frost’s famous quote “I took the one [path] less traveled by,” exemplified my transformation. Straying from what was known, I had unwittingly unveiled the truths of my character. Resilience, the unyielding desire to march to my own beat, and the yearning to live by my moral code had set me apart from my friends. My failure set me free, free from a prison of expectations and ‘fitting in’, leaving me with a resolve to reinvent myself from the bottom up, regardless of how others gazed upon me.

My greatest failure bestowed upon me the fuel to conquer my fears and take that first step, that unknown step into a new me. The demon keeping me prisoner, constantly reminding me of my failure, gone, my battle bringing out bravery, resilience, and courage I hadn’t realized existed within me. The treasonous failure I had once thought I committed was my greatest success. Marking my odyssey to independence, and molding me into a person I never thought possible—my greatest failure gifted me with a new best friend that always inspires me to be true to myself.