Time to order a new T-shirt by Cole
Cole's entry into Varsity Tutor's January 2022 scholarship contest
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Time to order a new T-shirt by Cole - January 2022 Scholarship Essay
2021 was eye opening. I have always been told that I am great at handling tough situations and people are envious that I never get rattled. My family admires that fact that I could meet my benchmarks and pass my tests no matter what was going on around me. What nobody realized, including me, was that life was extra hard for me on the inside. My mom would sometimes look deep into my eyes and say "Why do you look so sad?" I didn't have an answer, but the hug that followed always gave me a little relief.
I expected that remote learning would be a breeze. I didn't need to be surrounded by people. I don't engage in any high school drama. I've had the same girlfriend since 5h grade and we see each other outside of school only on rare occasions. Her family keeps her extremely busy and I just roll with it. If I had my own personal logo on a t-shirt, it would read "I don't know. What do YOU want to do?"
Fortunately one of my other gifts is that I am very aware of my feelings. Being alone so much, I began to realize that depression was always riding in my sidecar. Once I was ready to learn more, there was a new feeling. Optimism. The doctor said it was called dysthymia, a persistent depressive disorder. That new information answered so many questions. I understood why seemingly simple things were extra difficult for me.
I know myself better now. 2021 presented me with the opportunity to acknowledge and focus on my own mental health, take steps to learn about it and accept help. This awareness or clarity has made a measurable difference in my last year of high school. I feel more in control. I feel more confident in goal setting and I am ready to apply to colleges. Admittedly, deciding where to apply has been the biggest challenge for me. Yesterday I tried out to be a captain on my Varsity Archery team. By the time you read this, I should know if my team shares the new and improved confidence I have in myself. One thing is certain, being an advocate for my own health has cemented my college career path of nursing.