Failure by Celeste

Failure by Celeste - August 2014 Scholarship Essay

Since I am naturally very competitive, simply mentioning the word “failure,” sends me in a distasteful cringe toward it. Because the thought and feeling of going through this self-esteem breaking condition, along with coming up short on a goal seems unbearable to me. As it is for many, we all try to strive for success right? The obvious rhetorical question is, who welcomes failure?

On the other hand, I know that both ends of the spectrum will have to be faced in the real world no matter the situation. In addition, success is not all what it’s cracked up to be. Iv’e heard of this phrase countless of times, but I came to fully understand it by having to painfully experience it in my own footsteps. To finally open my eyes to see the big picture, of success only having the capacity of carrying me not the full length to my destination. But yet that failure was just as or more important then that of success.

Consequently, during middle school I was consumed by preparing myself to be the best to be better than the best. Along with having the assumption of only aiming for the first place spot to make sure that I was remembered. Of course, I have no one else to blame, for nurturing this competitive drive of mine. That being the case, my fist realistic lesson from failure sneaked it’s way in when I was put through the standardized writing test that in past I've exceeded with flying colors.

Likewise, while completing the test I focused on that one goal to get the highest score on it, losing sight of what really mattered. Like expanding my knowledge, giving me a challenge to then branch off to use in my future plans. I could feel it deep down that sinking of the heart sensation. I was nervous for the results, to have this scrambling through my mind was unheard of for me. I couldn't lie to myself, I knew that it was not gonna be my best piece of work, however for my composition to not even meet the standards tore me to shreds. Slaving for days, saying to myself if I had passed before why didn't I this time around along with being at the top of my class. I simply couldn't believe it, to be honest it did take me a few years to finally accept it that failure is necessary, without failure, success is nonexistent.

In conclusion, I must say that I needed this wake up call and I can say many of us need it every once and a while. Indeed I am one to fully agree that it is utterly unbearable and hard to even swallow your pride to say that your weren’t at the first place spot this time. In saying this, I can full heartedly say that when failure comes upon me I welcome it to bring me down to reality. That of course I am not perfect, that I have so much more knowledge to soak up, and that proudly I can still despise failure. Since to me now failure doubles my chances of reaching success and all it does is gives me more of a hunger.