Courage to Grow by Carissa

Courage to Grow by Carissa - August 2014 Scholarship Essay

“The struggle itself towards the heights is enough to fill a man’s heart.” (Albert Camus) I would be lying if I said I wasn’t proud of how far I have come in life. However, nothing extraordinary comes easily and it is true that it can be worth the struggle. Improvement only takes place when you realize at times that failure makes you stronger. School and academics bring the most difficult choices and challenges for me. I have worked vigorously to surpass all the previous hindrances in school which has in the past helped to develop my own opinions and prepared me do my best in every situation. No matter the struggle I always have a positive attitude that I will succeed.

Math has always been a passion of mine especially when I was being placed a year ahead in those classes. I didn’t imagine that college would be any different. After taking some courses and exams over the summer I was able to enroll in Calculus in the fall as a beginning to my college engineering major and future career. However, the road to success is a difficult path and my greatest academic challenge took place that first semester. Neither of my parents have graduated from a university and that is what is expected of me. I felt an excessive amount of pressure weighing on my shoulders being of a Hispanic background with certain perceptions from others. The engineering field can be considered low in diversity so there was a sense of intimidation in the beginning.

I headed in with a positive attitude anyway because I always felt that the challenge math brought was excitable. My ideas changed very quickly afterwards. The math class I attended was held at a very fast pace and there was a lot of material to cover. My teacher expected students to jump right in without much review which had usually been most beneficial each new school year. I felt like a shadow falling behind as each exam passed. The material was difficult at times and I just couldn’t seem to catch on especially with five other classes on my mind. The other students all worked on their own and I figured, why couldn’t I do the same? The trouble was that I was stubborn and I had a mindset where I didn’t need anyone to help. Although, even trying my best didn’t seem successful. The exams seemed like the death of me in that class and it was so distressing that I reached a point I never thought I would. All my confidence was crushed because my grade continuously dropped and I gave up towards the end of the semester. That feeling of overwhelming remorse opened my eyes to the person that I had to become in order to overcome these challenges.

The next semester I enrolled in the same course with a new mindset and I was determined to receive a better grade. I went to see my professor daily to get help with my homework, studying, or just to go over the lessons. This improved my understanding of the topics and made me gain my confidence again. I used that confidence to find partners and friends in that class to form study groups and work together on assignments making lifelong friends in the process. There was even a point where I found myself helping them as well. I also attended tutoring and study sessions frequently. I felt more responsibility for myself. Even though there were still some struggles, I was strong enough to push through them and there was also a wonderful amount of support from my family. They would help in any way possible and gave me strength when it got to be more than I could handle. My grade spoke for itself at the end of that semester. I received a B on my final exam and in the entire class.

Through diligence and persistence that year was finished with an exceeding grade and a proud feeling from the accomplishment made. The most important thing that I learned that semester was to not be ashamed to ask for help. There will be many more challenges and struggles in every area of life. Engineering is one of the most challenging programs offered at the University of Arizona and now I understand why. It has taken a lot of dedication and effort to be successful in this program. Having the courage to stand up to those doubts and challenges is not an easy task but is one that I would gladly accept. Each time I feel discouraged or doubtful I remember what I learned from my challenges and how I improved as a person. I keep in mind now why I am in school and I’m absorbing all that I can. It is true that I am working for a promising career but the main reason I want to be an engineer is to make a difference in this world. With that and faith in myself I know I will one day disprove the odds and become one of the few Mexican American women engineers and be all that I wish to be.