Dear Past Self by Ashley

Dear Past Self by Ashley - April 2021 Scholarship Essay

Dear me,

I have some advice that may come in handy for the next four years of your life. The future is going to be messy, not like we expect, and will completely turn your life upside down. I want you to have your best life and to understand that even if not everything goes your way, there is always light at the end of the tunnel. My first advice is that you need to learn to value yourself. You won't get this at first. As mother says, it'll slip over your head until it actually happens to you, but when it does, don't underestimate your work, yourself, and what you have to offer. It may not be much but it'll mean a lot in the end. Your family will always be there for you. You deserve everything that comes your way but stop being harsh on yourself. It may seem that you don't have much to offer or that you cannot do it, but trust me, you can do this. I believe in you.
Don't worry so much about making friends. I know you'll feel lonely and isolated your first year. Your roommate will not be the best (I'd recommend you put early bird not night owl, trust me, this will prevent this entire situation from happening). You'll push past this. You can do this! You are loved and you are worthy and courageous for being able to head off on your own! You are not a disappointment. You should feel proud of being accepted at a prestigious school when none of your other classmates were. You can do this. You can make everyone proud and you need to start by being proud of yourself.
Again, don't underestimate yourself or undermine your skills. A bad grade means nothing. Don't take it to heart that you aren't good enough. Focus on what intrigued you originally to apply to college! Focus your energy on psychology so you can study something that you love and not something that is expected of you. Studying psychology does not make you any less than anyone in the school. You are not worthless. Remember how you walked out and everyone expected you to fail your Certified Medical Assistant exam this year? Even the teacher expected you to fail and you passed with a higher score than you thought possible. What about back in middle school when the teacher thought that you couldn't handle Algebra I because they thought you would fail and you proved them wrong by reaching Calculus? What about when you were laughed at because you applied for a Magnet school and you made a point to prove they were wrong? Don't let someone get into your head in the future that you should settle for being a counselor or get an easier career. Go for the career you want. I know you can do this. I' am proud of you.
I also have one more piece of advice: please apply to scholarships. Don't be discouraged because you got a rejection letter. I know it hurts to be rejected but guess what, if they don't like it, there will be others who will! Never underestimate yourself. Never undersell your value to others.
I know it's going to be hard. No one said it would be easy. You won't understand it now, but you'll figure it out later. I'm telling you this because you are deserving of everything you have. You can do anything you put your stubborn mind to. No one can make you feel less unless you let them. You are loved and you are not alone. It will be hard. But I want you to know that I love you and I know you can do this. It will get easier and you'll be proud of the person you've become. Enjoy yourself and prepare yourself for you are going to go through an experience you won't forget. If you ever need a reminder, take the time to read this,

I love you and you can do this,
You future self