My Frenemy: Math by Ashley

My Frenemy: Math by Ashley - August 2014 Scholarship Essay

It took twelve tests and thirteen quizzes for me to pass one trigonometry exam with a 67. Knowing me, that took a very lengthy amount of time. An estimated seven months and yet I still managed to fail both semesters. Let’s just say that, Math and I have a strong rivalry. I hate Math, and the numbers hate me. And I let that dictate my life for months.

My hatred for the despicable subject didn’t begin until I began to consistently fail at it in the beginning of my Junior Year of high school. Freshmen year’s Algebra was a breeze, sophomore year’s Geometry, was paradise. Both subjects were calm and I never had trouble. Yet, Trigonometry changed my point of view in life. I felt like I was dead, and Trigonometry was my suffering with the devil. A bit too unreasonable to define the subject, but yet that’s how it was in my mind.

As most students do, I blamed my teacher at first. Mr. Henry spoke very fast, he had an accent I could never register, and he often picked on students. I couldn’t stand him. He was opposite my personality. I spoke slowly so I could register what I was saying myself, and I was quiet but free spirited. I never liked the idea of authority –unless they were nice to me‒ and I never liked listening to anyone of a higher position. Every time he spoke, I had to ask my nearest peer to repeat what he said. Most of the responses are “I don’t even know,” because they couldn’t understand themselves. Overall, I had a really tough time in his class.

After failing each and every test and quiz continuously I began to skip his class. I thought of it as a waste of time. I didn’t see the point in sitting in a classroom with a teacher I loathed, to walk out not knowing what I had just learned. Skipping class didn’t last long. I only skipped his 6th period class for about three days before I confided in my mom why I wasn’t going. Well, I didn’t exactly confide in her, she saw my report card and confronted me. Skipping class and failing class, isn’t my forte at all. I was always the good girl, so my mom knew something was wrong.

A long lecture later, I contacted a tutor. One of my mother’s friends was a Trigonometry teacher at a different school. Her name was Francis. My mother and Francis both recommended that I continue to go to Mr. Henry’s class, and ironically, if I choose not to pay attention, that it was okay. I would be tutored by Francis on weeknights. I would carry my textbook to her house and she would reteach me everything Mr. Henry unsuccessfully tried to do. After a while, I began to understand trigonometry, and soon enough, I began to learn lessons in Trigonometry that the rest of the class hasn’t learned yet. Sadly, I still continued to fail!

I remember I was ecstatic to pass one exam with a 67. But I only failed because I got the answers to each question correct, but I didn’t answer it the way it should have been. This is why I hate Math. It’s so complicated and it takes forever to find the number 22 with a bunch of letters in the way, or variables as it is called. I still have no idea why the way I answered an equation had to matter since I got the problem correct, but I didn’t question it. After vigorously failing, by the end of the year, I still did not pass the class.

It’s funny. Failing opened my eyes in a different way. I’m glad I failed. Well, not really, but I’m glad I tried and failed. I had no idea how to get through Locus formulas and Pascal’s Triangle in the first semester of junior year, but after seeking out help, I had a better understanding. I didn’t give up. I tried my best and although I didn’t to pass and become a Math whiz, My teacher, my parents, the principal, or any other student can’t say that I flunked every exam because I didn’t study. I did. No one can say I hate Math just because it’s hard. I hate Math because it’s hard even when I try to understand it. I believe that’s how my enemy made me stronger. So, maybe Math is more of my frenemy. Math pushed me but I still got up to get pushed down again and again, and that means a lot.