Why I deserve this scholarship. by Ashley

Why I deserve this scholarship. by Ashley - July 2017 Scholarship Essay

Growing up, I was always trying to find out what my talent was; that thing that made me so different from everyone else. I had trouble finding myself and, consequently, I never really knew who I was. I trialed with fashion, makeup, writing, and even dancing. The impediments taking flight in my personal life didn’t help either. My parents started having complicated snags in their marriage. They tried their best to keep it from me, to no avail. I became trapped in a battlefield between my parents’ conflict and the struggles of being a black high school girl coming into womanhood. Did I mention the heavy periods? Those things hurt! With so much chaotic fog around me, I never really understood what made me unique from everyone else. I began to vigorously search for who I was, which lead me to music. I became a singer and perfecting my voice was what made me different. This feeling of euphoria was short lived because the moment I thought I had everything figured out, was the moment everything came crashing down. My mother and father announced that they were getting a divorce on my 8th birthday. Even though I didn’t want to admit it, my dad leaving had a bigger impact on me than I had lead people to believe. I could no longer function as I did before. I began to be on autopilot and isolate myself from the world. I lost friends who didn’t want to understand my situation. I even stop talking to my parents. The pain was just too much.
I thought that my misery would have no end, until I met Ms. Wilson, a director at my school, who became a mentor to me. She helped me to comprehend life goes on and to appreciate the collateral beauty in it all. Out of the ashes, comes the phoenix. Once my parents separated, I lived with my mother. It was here where I realized that she was hurt the same way I was. Learning that one of the strongest people I knew started to crumble because of my father, made me grow a massive distain for him for the position that he has placed my mother in. My mother has been a single parent taking care of three children ever since. Struggle has been something we have come accustomed to. I still remember when the lights and water were off. My mom had to go get bread and ham and said "Let's have a family picnic." We would buy bottles of water to flush the toilet and to wash our clothes with. We would use candles for light and sleep in the same room so we all could see. We have moved 6 times since my eighth grade year because my mom couldn't afford any of it. Currently both my other brothers attend college with no scholarships, my mom is paying their tuition, while she still has to take care of me. My mother has always tried to provide for us, but she'd always go without in the process.
Why do I feel you should select me for this scholarship? Because I won’t get a better opportunity. My mom can’t afford my tuition to my dream school to do what I always dreamed of. Berklee College of Music is a part my dream; I just need help getting there. I heard once that “A dream is just a wish without a goal.” $64,000 a year is a big goal and I believe I can do it, but only with your help.