Varsity Tutors Scholarship Essay by Alejandro

Varsity Tutors Scholarship Essay by Alejandro - May 2021 Scholarship Essay

The beginning of my Senior year was like my other early years in high school. Sure, there was a school that I wanted to get into more than others, but it wasn’t enough for me to get home and spend hours studying. This year was the year we had to start applying to colleges, the colleges we researched and decide whether we liked them enough to go to for the next four years. We were filling out applications, financial aid, logging into student portals for different schools, it was very confusing. Thankfully, we had college counselors who helped us through every step of the way, they explained parts of an application that students from other schools might not have understood and made sure to keep us motivated; something that I was in short supply of. Students were already getting their decisions back and for once, I was excited. A few weeks passed, and I got the decision I had been waiting for since the first student got theirs. It came in a small maroon box, with big white letters on the front, and in the corner, my name and address. Eventually, I opened the box, there was a key chain, that said “Howdy” in pretty, white, cursive letters, a nice pair of maroon socks that said, “Texas A&M”, a little flag, and a poster that said “I am the NEWEST & PROUDEST member of the FIGHTIN’ TEXAS AGGIES. After the excitedness of getting accepted to my top choice school, I came to a couple of realizations, mostly about what I’m going to do after high school. Like, what am I going to do when I can’t just seem to do my work in college, and I end up failing and dropping out? What would I do if I wasn’t mentally ready for college? I know I’m academically ready, but what would I do if I can’t handle the stress? Would I give up and drop out? Or would I make excuses again just to struggle in the end?

11th grade was a different from my Senior year. In the 11th grade my lack of motivation was something I was willing to notice. I saw that I would do work in class, but I wouldn’t do anything after school. For example, if we had a project that was due at the end of the week, I would work on it during class but whenever I got home, it was like it didn’t exist. I was motivated to complete a major assignment, even if it meant staying after school. My friends would wonder where I was because I would never give my time to complete an assignment. It made me realize that there shouldn’t be a reason for me to struggle and that I could ace everything the first time. Even after this epiphany, I still didn’t have the motivation to really put extra time into school. Even though it was time to start choosing colleges and universities to go to, I never put a whole lot of thought into it. I didn’t list colleges that really caught my attention, except for one, Texas A&M at Galveston to major in Marine Biology.

The first 2 years of my high school career were very similar, there was a lack of motivation to get work done. I wasn’t trying my best in class and on the rare occasion that if I missed an assignment, I wouldn’t worry as much as I should have. I did well enough on test that the lack of completion on assignments didn’t cause me to fail, but it did catch the attention of some friends and teachers. Teachers mostly, questioned how I was able to do well on test without completing an assignment that was supposed to help with it. Friends and teachers both believed that I was able to do more than well in classes, I did too. But the motivation just wasn't there, I would go home and spend my afternoon watching movies and playing video games rather than focusing on work. I wasn’t in a club or on a team, so there wasn’t anything to put the blame on. It was a problem that I wasn’t willing to recognize.

These past few weeks I have been talking to my family about how I haven’t had the motivation to do my best in classes, and how I don’t know if I could live with a stranger for a couple of months. Neither of my parents never went to college, so it’s harder for them to understand, my sister goes to school here in Houston so she wouldn’t be able to help as much either. Nonetheless, they continue to give me the support they think I need. And even after I go to my family for help, I have a psychiatrist, someone outside of my family that I’m able to talk to.

I have yet to overcome my problems, whether they be big or small, but I am working towards it. I want to seek out help, and the help that I do get, I want to provide that same help for someone else. I might not be the perfect person for someone to talk to, but I could be that one person that helped them get through it. I am motivated to overcome my own challenges and I don’t expect to lose that motivation anytime soon.