On Loneliness by Abigail

On Loneliness by Abigail - March 2017 Scholarship Essay

The students couldn’t quite figure out what felt so different about the cafeteria that day, until they noticed the one empty chair in the corner. For the most part, school cafeterias are large, noisy, and somewhat crowded rooms. Nonetheless, in this school cafeteria, one seat in a noiseless corner was devoted to a single girl. Her hair would fall over her face and she would quickly pull it back behind her ears. She did not open her mouth except for the occasional grape: she had no reason to speak. She would push her wide-rimmed glasses up the bridge of her nose in an attempt to read yet another poetry book. She had dark circles around her red eyes, because the night before, she cried herself to sleep again. Yet, she still managed to read a book: the closest thing she had to companionship. Marisol rarely interacted with other people. No one ever saw her after school, at sporting events, or in school performances, since Marisol was far too uncomfortable to join anything. As a result of feeling so misunderstood, debilitating depression overcame her, and one day, she didn’t go to school. The presence ordinarily designated to that corner no longer existed. The students didn’t realize that she would never occupy that seat again. Some people view solitude as a mild discomfort, but others experience it as pervasive, destructive, and in some cases, life-threatening.
Solitude seems an inescapable problem. Yet solutions prevail: trying harder to interact with people, making a greater effort at appearing accessible, and sending signals of openness all help in avoiding desolation. When reaching out to people, the simple things matter. A friendly hello helps to present the appearance of accessibility and break down the icy barrier alienation creates. Wearing brighter colored apparel compared to dark dreary clothes presents a happy and friendly demeanor that people find appealing. Joining social organizations such as clubs or athletic teams fosters commonality and breeds friendship. People rarely notice non-participants, so participation itself breeds companionship and will combat solitude. Investing in the development of unique or entertaining skills such as music or art helps to bridge the divide between isolation and popularity. Putting oneself 'out there' through any combination of these techniques will pay in social dividends, and probably put an end to isolation.
While isolation exists, the opposite, popularity, persists, especially in the halls of a high school. The cliché “popular girl” comes from the real life equivalent. Fortunate enough to have won the genetic lottery, “Miss Popularity” exudes a confidence and political finesse that has developed over time. Every move contrived to ensure achievement, whether choosing classes, activities, or social functions; Miss Popularity operates her way through every day. This manipulation remains an outstanding strategy and has guaranteed Miss Popularity’s success in all her endeavors. In every school, the prettiest, smartest, and most athletic girl thrives. Her vivacious spirit seduces everyone she sees. Her smile melts the hearts of everyone while she flaunts her way down the hall, laughing with her friends. Everyone counts on Miss Popularity’s presence, whether a group project, sporting event, or social situation. They all want her there: students and teachers alike. She has never experienced exclusion in her life. She doesn’t have the slightest clue how isolation feels. If a prize existed for the happiest person alive, she would easily earn a blue ribbon. Miss Popularity remains blissfully unaware of all the outcasts who envy her.
Although Marisol lived in a world of isolation and depression, she sought out help from a guidance counselor, who told her to approach a lunch table of popular kids and ask to join them. Marisol put on her brightest orange sweater and her most convincing smile, reflecting on the advice of the counselor. Not surprisingly, the students lacked enthusiasm at Marisol’s request. Feeling rejected and embarrassed, Marisol felt she had no options left. Knowing her parents were still at work, she left school early, went home, and at 1:17 PM, she hung herself in her bathroom. Miss Popularity sat waiting her turn to see the guidance counselor that day. She admired the pretty orange sweater on the girl who just walked out of the counselor’s office. She thought to herself, she would never have the courage to wear that color to school because her friends would tease her for looking like a fat pumpkin. Her friends never knew how isolated all of their attention made her feel; striving constantly to succeed and earn their respect was exhausting. The guidance counselor was the only one who knew her secrets, her office a safe haven for Miss Popularity to vent. The guidance counselor, constantly pushing her glasses back up her nose, related better to Marisol than she ever did to Miss Popularity. A popular girl’s complaints seemed trivial to the counselor. But ever the professional, she listened dutifully. After venting, Miss Popularity still felt desperate. She found no release in sight from the prison that was her popularity and perfection. Knowing her father was at work and her mother was at her regular spa appointment, Miss Popularity grabbed her designer bag, exited the building, walked home, and at 1:17 PM, hung herself in her bathroom. Strategies to combat loneliness don’t always work, and when they fail, the results are pervasive, destructive, and in some cases, life-threatening.