The Odds by Abhinav

The Odds by Abhinav - May 2021 Scholarship Essay

Emirates, Lufthansa, Delta. There were thousands of these collectible airplane models each with different airlines and sizes stored in my basement. I had always wondered what my father loved about these metal objects: was it the detail of the miniature windows, the bright colors of the logo, or just the feeling of fulfillment in building a collection? Yet, despite my father's passionate love for these objects, I was confident that I would loathe them for eternity.

It all started on a trip to the grocery store. Typically the conversations between my parents solely contained gossip and small talk, but I sensed the strained tone in my mother’s voice and felt the glare in my father’s eyes. I chose the ease of playing Super Mario Bros on my Nintendo over the effort required to listen to my parents’ conversation. My brother always stretched his neck to get a better view of my Nintendo, mesmerized by the characters’ colors and noises.

I handed my Nintendo to him and inched forward in my seat attempting to focus on the conversation. Within minutes, the car ride seemed to have morphed into a powderkeg, filled with fear and bitterness. I was lost, hearing words such as “mortgage,” “debt,” and “loans.” I felt helpless. In school, I always knew the answer to questions, yet this confusion left a growing feeling of frustration inside of me. As my father turned into the parking lot, I was jolted to the left just enough to see my mother at the brink of tears. My parents decided to go back home: the night had just become unforgettable.

Immediately after we reached home, I carried my brother to his crib, tiptoed down the hall, and placed myself on a wall behind the railing, where I could not be spotted. I saw tears streaming down my mother’s cheeks, only stopping to turn to my father and scold him. I tried to listen in, but the only words that drifted behind the railing were “credit card loans” and something about “model airplanes”.

Slowly, a deathly silence filled the house: it was over. I crawled into bed with my Nintendo and went on the internet--I had never been so motivated to grasp a concept. I opened Wikipedia, Youtube, and various dictionaries searching up each term and clicking on every result. “Debt is money owed to others,” I thought, and “A loan is money that is borrowed.” I immersed myself in this world of learning, reading every article, watching every video, and taking up the time to understand instead of simply knowing. I discovered that at the core of learning was the power to free myself from the shackles of helplessness.

Keeping this discovery in mind, I began seeking answers to any questions I had, instead of simply ignoring them because it required more effort. I was inspired to truly engross myself within any subject I learned about, not simply memorize definitions only to forget them after a test. I became intrinsically motivated to understand the origin of truths and formulas, as opposed to being satisfied merely by knowing them.

Throughout my life, I felt guilty spending money, fearing that the next video game or book would hurt my family. Learning, however, had no monetary limits, yet held limitless possibilities; I found that my place of belonging was anywhere I could learn whether it be through my Nintendo or in a classroom. Just as my father had an uncontrollable love for his model airplanes I had a similar feeling to learn, grow, and understand. As I continued my academic career, I never failed to utilize the opportunities I was given to learn. My persisting curiosity has freed me from the trap of ignorance and revealed to me that my father’s airplanes were no longer an object of loathing. They were the keys that freed me from (the shackles of) helplessness forever.