SAT Writing : Improving and Correcting Sentences

Study concepts, example questions & explanations for SAT Writing

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Example Questions

Example Question #5 : Avoiding Ambiguity And Redundancy In A Full Sentence

Are you trying to stick to a budget? Using coupons for purchases, also known as “couponing” is a great way to save money on groceries. Coupons are a little piece of paper that can give you a discount on what you buy. You will be amazed at the great bargains and amazing savings you can get!

It’s easy to get started. When you open up your daily newspaper, one might find a glossy insert full of coupons. Some of the coupons will be for things you don’t buy, some will be for things you buy all the time. Go through the coupons and chop out the ones you can use.

The key to successful couponing is getting multiple copies of coupon circulars. Ask your friends, your neighbors, and family if they have any extras. Some coupon users even go through the recycling at their office to find more coupons! Have you ever heard of such a thing in your life! Completely devoted, these circulars help coupon users to get even more savings.

Couponing might sound like hard work, but for many people, it’s also a hobby. Not only does it help them save hundreds of dollars per year, but also it gives them a fun challenge every time they do their shopping. 

How should the underlined section be corrected?

Possible Answers:

NO CHANGE

These circulars, completely devoted, help coupon users get even more savings.

These circulars help completely devoted coupon users get even more savings.

Completely devoted, these circulars help get even more savings for coupon users.

These circulars help coupon users get even more savings, completely devoted.

Correct answer:

These circulars help completely devoted coupon users get even more savings.

Explanation:

This question asks you to correct a misplaced modifier error. The modifying phrase, "completely devoted," should be placed as close as possible to the phrase it modifies, "coupon users." Otherwise, the misplaced modifier confuses the sentence's meaning, making it sound as though the circulars themselves are devoted.

Example Question #1 : Avoiding Ambiguity And Redundancy In A Full Sentence

Are you trying to stick to a budget? Using coupons for purchases, also known as “couponing” is a great way to save money on groceries. Coupons are a little piece of paper that can give you a discount on what you buy. You will be amazed at the great bargains and amazing savings you can get!

It’s easy to get started. When you open up your daily newspaper, one might find a glossy insert full of coupons. Some of the coupons will be for things you don’t buy, some will be for things you buy all the time. Go through the coupons and chop out the ones you can use.

The key to successful couponing is getting multiple copies of coupon circulars. Ask your friends, your neighbors, and family if they have any extras. Some coupon users even go through the recycling at their office to find more coupons! Have you ever heard of such a thing in your life! Completely devoted, these circulars help coupon users to get even more savings.

Couponing might sound like hard work, but for many people, it’s also a hobby. Not only does it help them save hundreds of dollars per year, but also it gives them a fun challenge every time they do their shopping.

How should the underlined section be corrected?

Possible Answers:

NO CHANGE

When they open up your daily newspaper, they find a glossy insert full of coupons.

When you open up your daily newspaper, you might find a glossy insert full of coupons.

Upon opening up your daily newspaper, one might find a glossy insert full of coupons

When you open up your daily newspaper, one finds a glossy insert full of coupons.

Correct answer:

When you open up your daily newspaper, you might find a glossy insert full of coupons.

Explanation:

This question asks you to correct ambiguity caused by a subject shift. The first part of the sentence uses the second-person subject, “you,” but the second part of the sentence switches to the third-person neutral subject, “one.” This reduces the clarity and consistency of the text. To correct this error, replace “one” with “you.”

Example Question #111 : New Sat

There once was a shepherd boy whom sat on the hillside watching the village sheep. He was hot and exhausted fanning himself, rapidly in a feeble attempt to cool himself down. On top of that, he had never been so bored before. To amuse himself, he decided to play a joke. He put his hands around his mouth and yelled in a loud voice, "Wolf! Wolf! A wolf is chasing the sheep!”

They came running. They asked the boy, “What’s going on? Did you yell ‘A wolf is chasing the sheep?’”

The boy laughed. “It was just a joke, everyone.”

The people fumed, but they all returned to their homes.

The next day, the boy bored again decided to amuse himself again. He bellowed, “Wolf! Wolf!” Again, the townspeople came running. Once they arrived and witnessed the laughing boy, they realized they’d been tricked a second time. Nonetheless, they returned home and irritated resolved to never fall for the trick again for third time.

The next day, the boy was watching his sheep. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a wolf appeared from behind the bushes. With its teeth bared, the boy cowered as the wolf approached the sheep. Terrified, he called, “Help! A wolf! A wolf is here!” The people ignored his cries. “That mischievous boy,” they all said to one another. “He must think he can fool us again.” But not one of them came running.

No one was there to witness as the wolf ate every last sheep on the hillside, as the boy helplessly cowered behind a bush. As the boy hid, he shook his head. “I shall never fib again,” he resolved to himself.

How should the underlined section be corrected?

Possible Answers:

NO CHANGE

They all came running.

He or she came running.

They came, running.

The townspeople came running.

Correct answer:

The townspeople came running.

Explanation:

The phrase "they" is ambiguous. The replacement of "they" with "the townspeople" clarifies who the pronoun refers to. "They all" does not fix the problem of ambiguity, "he or she" is illogical in this sentence, and the addition of a comma is unnecessary. "The townspeople came running" is the best answer.

Example Question #1 : Increasing The Effectiveness Of A Full Sentence

1 Ethnography: sounds erogenous but is simply a study of a culture or group of people.2 Originating in the field of anthropology, later becoming popular in sociology and other disciplines. 3 Ethnographies typically include: descriptions of geography, religion, economy, social behaviors, rituals and histories. 4 Most early ethnographies were written by ex-patriot European explorers traveling outside their home continent; though by some standards the Greek historian Herodotus was producing protoplasmic ethnographies hundreds of years before the Age of Exploration. 5 Ethnographies can take forms ranging from the confessional, the feminist, the critical, and the realist but most are qualitative and descriptive rather than quantitative and statistical. 6 Some attempt to provide fairly objective observations of a group or society, others have the anterior motive of empowering marginalized or repressed cultures.7 This group or culture may include anything from a fraternity to a particular Uruguayan village. 8 Today ethnographers often immerse themselves fully in the lives of their subjects, be they powerful politicians and impoverished blue-collar workers.

How should Sentence 2 be rewritten?

Possible Answers:

Originating in the field of anthropology, it later became popular in sociology and other disciplines.

Originating in the field of anthropology; later becoming popular in sociology and other disciplines.

Its originating in the field of anthropology, later becoming popular in sociology and other disciplines.

Originating in the field of anthropology, with it later becoming popular in sociology and other disciplines.

Originating in the field of anthropology, later becoming popular in sociology and other disciplines. (no change)

Correct answer:

Originating in the field of anthropology, it later became popular in sociology and other disciplines.

Explanation:

Since the only verbs in the original sentence are gerunds, we need to change one to an active tense and add a subject to avoid a run-on.

Example Question #5 : Rewriting A Sentence Fragment

The plot of modern political television usually revolves around several key themes. First, there is a political conflict at the national level between major parties. Second, there are emotional and practical concerns related to office politics; furthermore, there are a number of subplots that usually have to do with local politics and tit-for-tat agreements. Finally, things resolve themselves later on in the show because much television just works itself out.

 

Pick an appropriate revision for the underlined phrase below, taken from the first sentence in the passage: 

The plot of modern political television usually revolves around several key themes.

Possible Answers:

No change

around nothing substantive

many key themes

around several comedic and dramatic tropes that matter greatly

around ideas that surprise audiences

Correct answer:

No change

Explanation:

The phrasing offered here is good, useful, and direct. This opening thesis statement does not need to be complicated; "around nothing substantive" changes the meaning of the sentence; "many key themes" introduces a grammatical error, changing the verb "revolves" from instransitive to transitive; "around several comedic and dramatic tropes that matter greatly" is prolix (wordy); "around ideas that surprise audiences" again changes the intended meaning, as key themes need not be surprising.

Example Question #1 : Revising Introductions And Transitions In A Sentence Fragment

1 All in all, aviation will likely continue to fascinate people for centuries to come. 2 Long before the famous Wright brothers humans were attempting to fly. 3 The ancient Greek myth of Icarus and Daedalus shows the tantalizing allusion of flight. 4 With large kites’ in China may have been the first successful instance of human flight several thousand years ago. 5 Hundreds of years later and despite many hazings; the Montgolfier brothers and other pioneering aviators began experimenting with manned hot-air balloon flights. 6 Therefore, technology has advanced to the point of supersonic and hypersonic flight, but people are still trying to break new barriers and invent new methods of flight.

In Sentence 1, what transitional word or phrase could not replace “All in all”?

Possible Answers:

In the long run

On balance

All things considered

By and large

Where this will hold true

Correct answer:

Where this will hold true

Explanation:

“Whereas” is a word that indicates contrast and not conclusion, so “Whereas this will hold true” could not logically replace “All in all.” All the other choices indicate conclusion.

Example Question #1 : Revising Introductions And Transitions In A Sentence Fragment

1 The Moluccas is a chain, or archetype, of islands belonging to Indonesia. 2 Historically, these islands were known as the Spice Islands for their abundance of nutmeg, cloves, mace, and pepper, this profundity of spices eventually drew colonial attention. 3 Spices such as cloves, cinnamon, cardamom, anise, and pepper were particularly popular during the medieval times. 4 In the 1600s, the Spice Wars arose as a result of competing Portuguese and Dutch interest’s in the Spice Islands. 5 The bloody conflict ended in the deaths of many native Moluccans as well as European traders, wherefore both Portugal and the Netherlands gained and lost territories ranging from Africa and South America. 6 For this day, strife occasionally breaks out on the islands although it is now motivated by religious and not colonial disagreements.7 It is located just west of New Guinea in the Pacific Ocean, and its more than 1,000 islands are home to more than 2 million people today.

What would be a better transitional phrase to begin Sentence 6?

Possible Answers:

In those days

While those days

To this day

For this day (no change)

After these days

Correct answer:

To this day

Explanation:

The sentence is explaining that a conflict still exists in the Moluccas up to and including the present day. The proper phrase to indicate this kind of temporal relationship is “To this day.” 

Example Question #1 : Rewriting A Sentence Fragment

1 The purpose of this agricultural practice is to produce large amounts of meat, milk, eggs, and textiles, such as wool and leather, at low costs. 2 It has many negative consequences; however, and many activists have raised concerns about sustainability, environmental risks, and ethics. 3 Factory farming, sometimes known euphonically as intensive animal farming, or industrial farming, is the practice of raising livestock at very high densities in order to decrease the costs of production. 4 On most factory farms, animals are reduced to commodities: bred unnaturally, confined in uncomfortably small cages, and dosed with high strength antibiotics to reduce concomitant infections. 5 Although, the livestock suffers considerately, drug-resistant bacteria become more common, and significant environmental hazards arise from the high quantities of animal waste. 6 Does the phrase manure lagoons sound familiar? 7 As a light of this issue, many people choose to become vegetarian or join anti-factory farming campaigns. 8 What will you do?

What would be a better transition to begin Sentence 5?

Possible Answers:

All things considered

Effectively

As a result

Even though

In this way

Correct answer:

As a result

Explanation:

Sentence 5 discusses consequences of Sentence 4, so “As a result” is the best transition to indicate this relationship.

Example Question #1 : Rewriting A Sentence Fragment

1 The purpose of this agricultural practice is to produce large amounts of meat, milk, eggs, and textiles, such as wool and leather, at low costs. 2 It has many negative consequences; however, and many activists have raised concerns about sustainability, environmental risks, and ethics. 3 Factory farming, sometimes known euphonically as intensive animal farming, or industrial farming, is the practice of raising livestock at very high densities in order to decrease the costs of production. 4 On most factory farms, animals are reduced to commodities: bred unnaturally, confined in uncomfortably small cages, and dosed with high strength antibiotics to reduce concomitant infections. 5 Although, the livestock suffers considerately, drug-resistant bacteria become more common, and significant environmental hazards arise from the high quantities of animal waste. 6 Does the phrase manure lagoons sound familiar? 7 As a light of this issue, many people choose to become vegetarian or join anti-factory farming campaigns. 8 What will you do?

How should the underlined portion of Sentence 7 be rewritten? 

Possible Answers:

In light of this issue

In the light of these issues

As a light of this issue (no change)

As a light

In lighting of

Correct answer:

In light of this issue

Explanation:

The standard phrase is “In light of.” There are no variants to it.

Example Question #10 : Rewriting A Sentence Fragment

1 E.J. Bellocq, who was he? 2 Those outside the photography coterie may not have heard of him, but his life’s work inspired innumerable films and works of literature. 3 Born into a rich family in the French Quarter of New Orleans Bellocq made a living, taking official photographs of ships, machinery, and other commercial items for local companies. 4 As a result, he became known for his portraits of Chinatown opium dens, and prostitutes in Storyville, one of the seediest districts of early 20th century New Orleans.

5 Bellocq’s work is categorized by its attention to detail and its rich aesthetic sensibility. 6 In his personal life, he was known for being eccentric, unfriendly, partially crippled, and possibly insane. 7 In his veritable Storyville portraits, the women are nude or clothed, looking at or away from the camera, and posed reclining or standing up, revealing great versatility on Bellocq’s part. 8 Tragically many of his negatives and prints were destroyed or damaged by an uncertain hand (mostly likely his or his Jesuit brother).

In Sentence 4, what transitional word or phrase should replace “As a result”?

Possible Answers:

However

Today

Henceforth

Wherefore

Arguably

Correct answer:

However

Explanation:

The sense of Sentence 4 is that, despite Bellocq’s official line of work, he became famous for a different kind of photography although. “However” is the only transitional word on the list that indicates that contrast satisfactorily.

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