PSAT Writing : Improving Sentences
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Example Questions
Example Question #223 : Correcting Phrase, Clause, And Sentence Errors
Replace the underlined portion with the answer choice that results in a sentence that is clear, precise, and meets the requirements of standard written English. One of the answer choices reproduces the underlined portion as it is written in the sentence.
Rarely does a teacher want to publicly humiliate a student in front of students making the rest of the class.
in front of students making up for the rest of the class.
in front of the rest of the students in the class.
in front the students make the class for the rest.
in front of students making the rest of the class.
in front of the students making the rest of the class.
in front of the rest of the students in the class.
The sentence as written is poorly worded, and slightly confusing because of it. The underlined portion in particular can be cleaned up to mean the same thing as it does in the sentence already. The best answer choice, therefore, is "in fornt of the rest of the students in the class."
Example Question #371 : Correcting Phrase, Clause, And Sentence Errors
Replace the underlined portion with the answer choice that results in a sentence that is clear, precise, and meets the requirements of standard written English. One of the answer choices reproduces the underlined portion as it is written in the sentence.
To make the groups all undertake to get equal funding, the accountant had to perform careful calculations and negotiations.
So the groups all undertake to get equal funding
So that the groups would all seek equal funding
To make groups undertake equal funding
To make the groups all undertake to get equal funding
To make the groups all undertake equal funding
So that the groups would all seek equal funding
The underlined portion of the sentence is overly wordy and confusing, with a passive construction and two verbs, "make" and "undertake," being at odds with each other. This phrase needs to be greatly simplified to be improved. "So that the groups would all seek equal funding," is the best choice among the answers.
Example Question #72 : Correcting Ambiguity And Redundancy Errors
Replace the underlined portion with the answer choice that results in a sentence that is clear, precise, and meets the requirements of standard written English. One of the answer choices reproduces the underlined portion as it is written in the sentence.
Politicians and their aides are so often stuck in their own bubble not aware of the concerns of their constituents.
unaware of the concerns of there constituents.
that they are unaware of their constituents' concerns.
not aware of the concerns of their constituents.
that they are unaware of their constituents concerns.
unaware their constituents' concerns.
that they are unaware of their constituents' concerns.
The underlined portion of the sentence is both awkwardly worded and is oddly connected to the rest of the sentence. The phrase can be improved by simplifying the word order and connecting it more definitely to the rest of the sentence; therefore, the correct answer choice is "that they are unaware of their constituents' concerns."
Example Question #1 : Correcting Modifier Placement Errors
Replace the underlined portion with the answer choice that results in a sentence that is clear, precise, and meets the requirements of standard written English. One of the answer choices reproduces the underlined portion as it is written in the sentence.
Walking briskly, I found the entrance to the park in a matter of minutes.
Walking briskly, the entrance to the park was found in a matter of minutes.
Walking briskly, I found the entrance to the park in a matter of minutes.
The park entrance, walking briskly, in a matter of minutes was found by me.
Walking briskly, I, in a matter of minutes, the entrance to the park was found.
In a matter of minutes, me walking briskly, I found the entrance to the park.
Walking briskly, I found the entrance to the park in a matter of minutes.
In this sentence, the modifying phrase "walking briskly" correctly modifies the subject of the sentence, "I." The modifier in this sentence is clear, and there are no other errors, so the sentence is correct as written. The sentence correctly chooses the use of active voice, as opposed to passive voice, which would be awkward in this situation.
Example Question #552 : Improving Sentences
Replace the underlined portion with the answer choice that results in a sentence that is clear, precise, and meets the requirements of standard written English. One of the answer choices reproduces the underlined portion as it is written in the sentence.
Happily singing, the cows were overseen by a team of carefree ranch hands.
Happily singing, a team of carefree ranch hands oversaw the cows.
Happily singing; the cows were overseen by a team of carefree ranch hands.
The cows, overseen by a team of carefree ranch hands, which were happily singing.
The cows, happily singing, were overseen by a team of carefree ranch hands.
A team of carefree ranch hands happily, who were overseeing the cows, were singing.
Happily singing, a team of carefree ranch hands oversaw the cows.
The modifying phrase "happily singing" logically refers to the team of carefree ranch hands (cows, as a species, are not known for their musicality), but as the sentence is originally written that phrase modifies "cows." In order to fix the error, the sentence can be phrased in an active voice, making the subject of the sentence the team of ranch hands, which is both the more melodious and grammatically correct option.
Example Question #1 : Correcting Modifier Placement Errors
Replace the underlined portion with the answer choice that results in a sentence that is clear, precise, and meets the requirements of standard written English.
Feeling rather disgruntled about the mess, the cat knocked over the Christmas tree and Tom cleaned it up.
the cat had knocked over the Christmas tree and Tom had cleaned it up.
the cat knocked over the Christmas tree and Tom cleaned it up.
Tom cleaned up the Christmas tree that the cat had knocked over.
Tom cleaned up the Christmas tree; the cat had knocked it over.
Tom cleaned up the Christmas tree and the cat knocked it over.
Tom cleaned up the Christmas tree that the cat had knocked over.
In the original sentence, it sounds like the cat feels disgruntled about the mess since "the cat" comes directly after that first phrase. By switching the order and having "Tom" next to that phrase, he is clearly distinguished as the one who is disgruntled. Later in the sentence, "that" is the most concise and logical coordinator.
Example Question #1 : Correcting Dangling Modifier Errors
Replace the underlined portion with the answer choice that results in a sentence that is clear, precise, and meets the requirements of standard written English.
Although best known for novels such as The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, many humorous and satirical short stories were also written by Mark Twain.
many humorous and satirical short stories have also been written by Mark Twain.
many humorous and satirical short stories are also written by Mark Twain.
short stories, many of them humorous and satirical, were also written by Mark Twain.
Mark Twain also wrote many humorous and satirical short stories.
many humorous and satirical short stories were also written by Mark Twain.
Mark Twain also wrote many humorous and satirical short stories.
When a sentence begins with a dangling participle or descriptive phrase, the person or thing being described must immediately follow the phrase. In the sentence as it is written, it seems as if "many humorous and satirical short stories" are "best known for novels such as The Adventures of Tom Sawyer." The answer choice "Mark Twain also wrote many humorous and satirical short stories" fixes this issue and makes it clear that the introductory phrase is actually referring to Mark Twain.
Example Question #2 : Correcting Dangling Modifier Errors
Replace the underlined portion with the answer choice that results in a sentence that is clear, precise, and meets the requirements of standard written English.
Although he is famous mainly for his silent films, Charlie Chaplain's career also included many spoken roles.
Charlie Chaplain's career also included many spoken roles
Charlie Chaplain also appeared in many spoken roles
Charlie Chaplain's career has included many spoken roles.
Charlie Chaplain's career also included many spoken roles in which he appeared
Charlie Chaplain's career included many spoken roles
Charlie Chaplain also appeared in many spoken roles
The original text contains a misplaced modifier. The introductory modifying phrase says "Although he is famous mainly for his silent films," so we know that the entity right after that phrase has to be the person who was famous for his silent films. Since "Charlie Chaplain's career" isn't a person, it can't grammatically follow the introductory modifying phrase.
Only answer choice "Charlie Chaplain also appeared in many spoken roles" correctly places the person, Charlie Chaplain, after the introductory modifying phrase.
Example Question #1841 : Correcting Grammatical Errors
Replace the underlined portion with the answer choice that results in a sentence that is clear, precise, and meets the requirements of standard written English.
Coming back to the farm, the gruesome scene was seen by everyone in the car.
everyone in the car saw the gruesome scene.
the gruesome scene was seen by everyone in the car.
the gruesome scene saw by everyone in the car.
the gruesome scene being seen by everyone in the car.
the gruesome scene was seen by everyone at the car.
everyone in the car saw the gruesome scene.
The sentence is written with a dangling modifier, which makes the sentence read as though the "gruesome scene" was what was "coming back to the farm." The sentence needs to be restructured to clarify this problem. The only answer choice that does this is "everyone in the car saw the gruesome scene."
Example Question #1 : Dangling Modifier Errors
Replace the underlined portion with the answer choice that results in a sentence that is clear, precise, and meets the requirements of standard written English.
Waiting for the crucial trial to begin, the anxiety Neil felt was almost overwhelming.
the anxiety Neil felt was almost overwhelming.
Neil felt almost overwhelmed with anxiety.
the anxiety almost overwhelmed Neil.
the anxiety being felt by Neil was almost overwhelming.
Neil's anxiety felt almost overwhelming.
Neil felt almost overwhelmed with anxiety.
When a sentence begins with a dangling participle or descriptive phrase, the person or thing described in that phrase (in this case, "Neil") must immediately follow it. Only one answer choice does this correctly. The answer choice that begins "Neil's anxiety" may appear to do so, but it does not, because the possessive "Neil's" is no longer the subject, but is describing the anxiety.
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