Not about a New Year's Resolution by Jordan

Not about a New Year's Resolution by Jordan - January 2016 Scholarship Essay

My name is Jordan Hill, and I don’t really believe in New Year’s Resolutions, but I do believe in the continuous struggle of wanting to be a good human, and live it out in a good human life. Before I go into what this means I’ll let you know more about me so your can understand my lens, and hopefully a little bit of my soul.
I am a junior in my level of credits at Saint Mary’s of Winona although I count as a sophomore for the number of years at the school. My hometown is Rosemount, Minnesota where I have lived throughout the majority of my life. I choose to major is Biology where I get to understand fundamental connections in life. In general, I love to learn new things, and take care of those in need. Many have told to never give up on the things you love, and many have given me insight to what is most valuable in a human life. I am still learning, and enjoying the process, but just like most people I want to be a good human being, and continuously ask myself what this means. I am passionate about my family, friends, religion, and also enjoy getting involved in the community, both in Winona and Rosemount.
Some of my future goals are to do a summer internship this upcoming summer, stay strong athletically on my Saint Mary's soccer team, continue to make/keep strong relationship on and off campus, and to one day specialize or do research at the Mayo Clinic where I believe I can be the good human in this specific role. I am highly interested in cancer research.
Now as for my “New Year’s Resolution,” or what I would call a continuous pursuit of my good human life where to me the definition is never concrete. However I’ll try to define what I mean. As of right now “good human” means to explore college, experience strangers, and find the person I want to be in the world. A wise professor once told me, “Ignore what the admissions people tell you. College is the time to set aside civilization and reflect on what you value in our short human lives. Many times students are told to stop reflecting and compile resumes. What is lost is the middle ground between childhood and adulthood where, for a brief glimmer of time, you get to hold off adult concerns for a little longer and ask the question, ‘how do I want to be in the world?’ when we sacrifice the questions for pre-professional training, we do little more than populate the world with more zombies” (Erich Lippmann, email). Now I am experiencing competing ideas, and am trying to construct my internal values. Starting by getting rid of some old, and instilling many more. This process scares me since there feels to be less stability, and there are many chances I could fail. I am lucky to know I have support from loved ones.
The new variable on my pursuit to be a good human happened in the beginning of this year (my “New Years Resolution”). On January 8th 2016, I was diagnosed with ADHD. It was not until I came home for Christmas break problems that always seemed to surface were finally addressed. It was the strained family relationships created by my impulsive, and slightly aggressive behavior that took us to investigate, along with my messiness, inattention, and frustration in so many aspects of my life. Before break my mother and I always talked on the phone about issues I was having a school, and in soccer. I kept expressing my frustrations about how I would zone off, forget soccer times, and struggle in my classes. Then we kept recalling instances where I would get in trouble for interrupting all the time in elementary school, impulsively throwing objects, and getting easily distracted over many years. Nonetheless, I continued to hold myself accountable for doing my work, and have had loved one who knew I was smart, and full of good intentions. I knew something was up, and tried to solve the problem myself. I always knew I could focus best if I sat in the front where none of my peers could distract me. Looking back at the countless extra hours I would spend trying to get the same tasks done as my peers it just makes so much more sense. Getting the diagnosis of ADHD was actually a huge blessing even though it was late. My family now understands me better, and works with me to be the good human I knew I always was. I now hope to take this New Year to repair strained relationships, and with my new knowledge I want to take it, and live in reflection, and take responsibility as I enter a time of many crossroads.