PSAT Writing : Improving Sentences
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Example Questions
Example Question #481 : Improving Sentences
Every person in the room appreciating the jokes by the performers.
Every person in the room has appreciating the jokes by the performers.
Every person in the room appreciated the jokes by the performers.
Every person in the room appreciating the jokes by the performers.
Every person in the room appreciating the jokes from the performers.
Every person in the room appreciating the jokes of the performers.
Every person in the room appreciated the jokes by the performers.
The sentence as written is actually a fragment, as it does not contain a proper verb. The word "appreciating" in the sentence is a gerund, or a verb form that can function as anoun. The correct answer will use a full verb form, as "Every person in the room appreciated the jokes by the performers" does.
Example Question #482 : Improving Sentences
Religious texts often appear quite difficult to understand, being contradictions of themselves.
being contradictions of themselves.
being contradicting them.
contradicting themselves.
being contradictions of them.
contradicting them.
contradicting themselves.
The underlined phrase in the sentence is awkwardly worded, which makes the sentence itself difficult to understand. The "religious texts" contain contradictions, a meaning not conveyed properly by the sentence. "Contradicting themselves" is the clearest, most appropriate choice among the answers.
Example Question #1 : Correcting Ambiguity And Redundancy Errors
All people choose their own religious denomination when they have been adults.
when being adults.
when they have been adults.
when adults they have been.
they have been adults.
when they are adults.
when they are adults.
The underlined phrase is very awkwardly worded, and the use of the past perfect form "have been" is confusing. The phrase needs to be cleaned up for better clarity of meaning. "When they are adults" is the best choice among the answers.
Example Question #1 : Correcting Ambiguity And Redundancy Errors
Few people understand the sheer work involved in having written of a novel.
having written of a novel.
writing a novel.
having writing of a novel.
having written novel.
writing having been done for a novel.
writing a novel.
The underlined phrase is awkwardly worded, and as such can lead to confusion. In order for the sentence to be improved, the words should be simplified and clarified. Making the final phrase of the sentence simply "writing a novel" is the best answer choice.
Example Question #2 : Correcting Ambiguity And Redundancy Errors
Select the answer that produces the most effective sentence, one that is clear and exact, without awkwardness or ambiguity.
The teacher reprimanded all the students after the final. She didn't realize only a few had cheated.
The teacher reprimanded all the students after the final. She didn't realize
Although the teacher reprimanded all the students after the final, she hadn't realized
Having reprimanded all the students after the final, the teacher didn't realize
The teacher reprimanded all the students after the final, she didn't realize
The teacher reprimanded all the students after the final, not realized
The teacher reprimanded all the students after the final. She didn't realize
In this case, the original is the best choice. It separates independent clauses with a comma, and avoid the passive voice.
Example Question #141 : Correcting Other Phrase, Clause, And Sentence Errors
Select the answer that produces the most effective sentence, one that is clear and exact, without awkwardness or ambiguity.
The artist depicted the responses of farmers to industrialization: this was a perspective rarely seen at the time.
industrialization, at the time, a perspective rarely seen.
industrialization. This was a perspective rarely seen, at the time.
industrialization: this being a perspective, at the time, rarely seen.
industrialization, a perspective having been rarely seen, at the time.
industrialization: this was a perspective rarely seen at the time.
industrialization: this was a perspective rarely seen at the time.
Here the original sentence is the best option: it is simple and uses correct punctuation.
Example Question #481 : Improving Sentences
Although only given serious attention in recent decades, the author had a devoted fanbase in the time of his own.
in the time being his own.
in the time that was his own.
in the time of his own.
in the own time.
in his own time.
in his own time.
The underlined portion of the sentence is grammatically correct, but very awkwardly worded. It can be both cleaner and more sensible by being simplified. The best, most simplified, answer choice is "in his own time."
Example Question #3 : Correcting Ambiguity And Redundancy Errors
Having to have been what is like a chameleon, the spy could take on many different personas.
Having to had been like a chameleon
To have been having what is like a chameleon
Having to have been what is like a chameleon
Had been what like a chameleon
Having to be like a chameleon
Having to be like a chameleon
The underlined portion of the sentence is extremely wordy and confusing. The best way to improve the sentence is to simplify the phrase while retaining its original intended meaning. The answer choice that best does this is "Having to be like a chameleon."
Example Question #483 : Improving Sentences
Professional athletes, having to have their careers ended by the time they are in their thirties, usually struggle when they are forced to retire.
having careers ended by thirties
having their careers end in their thirties
having to have their careers ended by the time they are in their thirties
having had their careers ending by the time of their thirties
to have their careers ended by in their thirties
having their careers end in their thirties
The underlined phrase is extremely long and somewhat confusing, and needs to be simplified a great deal. The repetition and unclear language needs to be done away with while keeping the meaning of the sentence intact. The answer choice that best does all of this is "having their careers end in their thirties."
Example Question #482 : Improving Sentences
Having been seen as what is the thing to be judged against, the book was read by every student entering the field.
Being seen as the thing to judge against,
Having seen as the thing to be judged against,
Having being seen as what is the thing to be judged against,
Being what is seen as being judged against,
Having been seen as what is the thing to be judged against,
Being seen as the thing to judge against,
The sentence as it is written is overly wordy and confusing, and desperately needs to be simplified. Key to simplification is keeping the meaning of the sentence and clarifying the word choice. The only answer choice that appropriately does both is "Being seen as the thing to judge against," making it the correct answer.
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