PSAT Writing : Improving Sentences
Study concepts, example questions & explanations for PSAT Writing
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Example Questions
Example Question #191 : Correcting Phrase, Clause, And Sentence Errors
Replace the underlined portion with the answer choice that results in a sentence that is clear, precise, and meets the requirements of standard written English. One of the answer choices reproduces the underlined portion as it is written in the sentence.
He was a renowned scientist, many students that studied with him.
and would many students study with him.
and many students studied with him.
many students that studied with him.
many students for to study with him.
and many students would study with.
and many students studied with him.
A sentence with two independent clauses must have both clauses be able to stand as complete sentences, and be connected to each other in meaning through a conjunction. "And many students studied with him," is the only choice that fits those parameters.
Example Question #191 : Correcting Phrase, Clause, And Sentence Errors
Replace the underlined portion with the answer choice that results in a sentence that is clear, precise, and meets the requirements of standard written English. One of the answer choices reproduces the underlined portion as it is written in the sentence.
Published in 1926, The Weary Blues was the first book written by poet Langston Hughes; and even today, it is widely regarded as one of the most influential works in American history.
written by poet Langston Hughes, even today, it is widely regarded as one of the most influential works
written by poet Langston Hughes, and even today, it is widely regarded as one of the most influential works
written by poet Langston Hughes; and even today, it is widely regarded as one of the most influential works
written by poet Langston Hughes, it is widely regarded, even today, as one of the most influential works
written by poet Langston Hughes; and even today, it is widely regarded to be one of the most influential works
written by poet Langston Hughes, and even today, it is widely regarded as one of the most influential works
The answer choice "written by poet Langston Hughes, and even today, it is widely regarded as one of the most influential works" is correct because it results in a sentence in which two independent clauses are separated by a conjunction followed by a comma.
The original text and answer choice "written by poet Langston Hughes; and even today, it is widely regarded to be one of the most influential works" uses a semicolon incorrectly. Sentences can be combined with a comma followed by a conjunction or with a semicolon, but not with a semicolon followed by a conjunction.
The answer choices "written by poet Langston Hughes, even today, it is widely regarded as one of the most influential works" and "written by poet Langston Hughes, it is widely regarded, even today, as one of the most influential works" create run-on sentences and are therefore incorrect.
Example Question #1101 : Improving Sentences
Replace the underlined portion with the answer choice that results in a sentence that is clear, precise, and meets the requirements of standard written English. One of the answer choices reproduces the underlined portion as it is written in the sentence.
Weddings have become big business in recent years, vendors finding their profits increasing with each event.
vendors finding there profits increasing with each event.
vendors find their profits increasing with each event.
vendors finding their profits increasing with each event.
vendors finding profits increasing with each event.
with vendors finding their profits increasing with each event.
with vendors finding their profits increasing with each event.
The underlined portion of the sentence stands oddly next to the preceding phrase, as it is in no way connected to the preceding phrase. The phrase needs to be changed so that it appropriately links with the first part of the sentence. "With vendors finding their profits increasing with each event" is the correct answer choice.
Example Question #1 : Correcting Other Phrase, Clause, And Sentence Errors
Replace the underlined portion with the answer choice that results in a sentence that is clear, precise, and meets the requirements of standard written English. One of the answer choices repeats the underlined portion as it is written.
However many people attend a music festival, promoters will always want to attend more people.
want to attend more people
want more people to attend
want to attend people more
want attend more people
people want to attend more
want more people to attend
The underlined portion of the sentence is awkwardly and confusingly worded, especially as concerns verb transitivity. The way the sentence is written makes it seem as if the promoters want to attend more people instead of them wanting more people to attend any given music festival. To make the sentence clear and sensible, the words can be rearranged to make it more understandable. "Want more people to attend" is the best choice among the answers.
Example Question #1 : Correcting Other Phrase, Clause, And Sentence Errors
Replace the underlined portion with the answer choice that results in a sentence that is clear, precise, and meets the requirements of standard written English. One of the answer choices reproduces the underlined portion as it is written in the sentence.
That card game is Brad's favorite, but none of his friends like the game either.
none of his friends like the game too.
he doesn't have any friends who like it.
none of his friends like the game either.
his friends don't like it.
his friends do not like it either.
his friends don't like it.
The correct answer choice is concise, fluid and unambiguous.
Example Question #121 : Correcting Other Phrase, Clause, And Sentence Errors
Replace the underlined portion with the answer choice that results in a sentence that is clear, precise, and meets the requirements of standard written English. One of the answer choices reproduces the underlined portion as it is written in the sentence.
Until showing a video of his guitar playing, only Eric's closest friends knew he had such a strong passion for music.
Having shown a video of his guitar playing
Until showing a video of his guitar playing
Until he showed a video of his guitar playing
Until showing a video about his guitar playing
Being that he showed a video of his guitar playing
Until he showed a video of his guitar playing
In the question sentence, the word, showing, is out of order, and is not in the correct tense.
Example Question #2 : Correcting Other Phrase, Clause, And Sentence Errors
Replace the underlined portion with the answer choice that results in a sentence that is clear, precise, and meets the requirements of standard written English. One of the answer choices reproduces the underlined portion as it is written in the sentence.
Thoughts and feelings about faith during the holidays change over time as one grows older and sometimes wiser.
Thoughts on faith sometimes change as we grow different and find ourselves changed.
As we grow older, our thoughts and feelings on faith sometimes change during the holidays.
During the holidays, our thoughts and feelings on faith sometimes change as we grow older and wiser and find ourselves changed.
Faith during the holidays change over time as one grows older and rarely wiser.
Our thoughts and feelings on faith sometimes change as we grow older and wiser and find ourselves changed.
As we grow older, our thoughts and feelings on faith sometimes change during the holidays.
The option to rewrite this sentence should clarify, but not change, its meaning. The correct answer: "As we grow older, our thoughts and feelings on faith sometimes change during the holidays," allows the ideas to flow more smoothly without altering the content: each fact is still relayed (the time of year; things that are changing, etc.), but the tone is much clearer.
Example Question #471 : Improving Sentences
Replace the underlined portion with the answer choice that results in a sentence that is clear, precise, and meets the requirements of standard written English. One of the answer choices reproduces the underlined portion as it is written in the sentence.
Many people have trouble understanding the complexing elements of policy decisions made by elected officials.
the more complex elements
the complexing elements
the complexly elements
a complexing elements
a complex elements
the more complex elements
The main issue with the underlined portion of the sentence is that "complexing" is not actually a word. The correct answer will appropriately change the word into the best form of "complex" to fit the sentence. To describe the elements best involves making the word into the phrase "more complex."
Example Question #1 : Correcting Ambiguity And Redundancy Errors
Replace the underlined portion with the answer choice that results in a sentence that is clear, precise, and meets the requirements of standard written English.
The dog that was hungry and looked ragged begged at the butcher’s shop for scraps.
The ragged-looking dog that was hungry
The hungry, ragged-looking dog
The hungry dog that looked ragged
Hungry and looking ragged, the dog
The dog that was hungry and looked ragged
The hungry, ragged-looking dog
The original sentence can be simplified by making those modifying phrases adjectives: “hungry” and “ragged-looking.” The most concise way to rewrite this sentence is to make these both adjectives that come before the noun.
Example Question #1 : Correcting Ambiguity And Redundancy Errors
Inspired by storylines that would come to him in dreams, Lord Bennington would stage one-man plays, his audience enjoying the show.
(No changes needed)
Inspired of storylines that would come to him in dreams, Lord Bennington would stage one-man plays, his audiences enjoyed the show.
Lord Bennington would stage one-man plays that were inspired by storylines from his dreams; his audiences would enjoy the shows.
Inspired by storylines that would come to him in dreams, Lord Bennington would stage one man plays, his audiences enjoying the show.
Inspired by storylines that would come to him in dreams, Lord Bennington would stage one-man plays; his audiences enjoying the show.
Lord Bennington would stage one-man plays that were inspired by storylines from his dreams; his audiences would enjoy the shows.
The original statement is grammatically incorrect because "audience" and "show" should be plural. Also, "his audience enjoying the show" makes the sentence into a run-on. The correct answer is concise and not awkward.
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