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Example Questions
Example Question #281 : Writing And Revising Effectively
Adapted from The Varieties of Religious Experience by William James (1902)
In the matter of religions, it is particularly easy distinguishing the too orders of question. Every religious phenomenon has its history and its derivation from natural antecedents. What is nowadays called the higher criticism of the Bible are only a study of the Bible from this existential point of view, neglected to much by the earlier church. Under just what biographic conditions did the sacred writers bring forth their various contributions to the holy volume? What had they exactly in their several individual minds, when they delivered their utterances? These are manifestly questions of historical fact, and one does not see how the answer to it can decide offhand the still further question: of what use should such a volume, with its manner of coming into existence so defined, be to us as a guide to life and a revelation? To answer this other question we must have already in our mind some sort of a general theory as to what the peculiarities in a thing should be which give it value for purposes of revelation; and this theory itself would be what I just called a spiritual judgment. Combining it with our existential judgment, we might indeed deduce another spiritual judgment as to the Bibles’ worth. Thus, if our theory of revelation-value were to affirm that any book, to possess it, must have been composed automatically or not by the free caprice of the writer, or that it must exhibit no scientific and historic errors and express no local or personal passions, the Bible would probably fare ill at our hands. But if, on the other hand, our theory should allow that a book may well be a revelation in spite of errors and passions and deliberate human composition, if only it be a true record of the inner experiences of great-souled persons wrestling with the crises of his fate, than the verdict would be much favorable. You see that the existential facts by itself are insufficient for determining the value; and the best adepts of the higher criticism accordingly never confound the existential with the spiritual problem. With the same conclusions of fact before them, some take one view, and some another, of the Bible's value as a revelation, according as their spiritual judgment as to the foundation of values differ.
Which is the best form of "best adepts"?
best interpreters
NO CHANGE
best attempts
best practitioners
best practitioners
The word "adept" can be used to mean someone skilled at a given practice. Since the word does have overtones derived from the adjective form, meaning very skilled, it would be better to avoid the semi-redundancy of saying, "best adepts," as this potential redundancy could be distracting for the reader. It would be better to use another word like "practitioner," at least to prevent the reader from becoming distracted by the potential reduplication in "best adepts."
Example Question #282 : Writing And Revising Effectively
The local flower shop has a semi-annual sale twice per year in April and August.
Which of the following choices more accurately and concisely conveys the same information as the above sentence?
The local flower shop has a semi-annual sale twice per year in April and August.
The local flower shop has a sale twice per year in April and August.
The local flower shop has a sale in April and August.
Everything in the local flower shop is on sale in April and August.
The local flower store has a semi-annual sale.
The local flower shop has a sale in April and August.
The original sentence was redundant in saying: "semi-annual," "twice per year," and "in April and August." Using "in April and August" conveys that the sale is semi-annual and that it is twice per year, but those phrases would not convey the exact dates of the sale. However, we don't know for sure that everything for sale in the flower shop is on sale in April and August, so "Everything in the local flower shop is on sale in April and August" cannot be the correct answer.
Example Question #283 : Writing And Revising Effectively
The Channel Tunnel is a feat of engineering. After decades of discussion, planning, and construction, a project that was first conceived in 1802 has finally become a reality. Today, the Chunnel allows millions of people to travel easily between England and France.
Choose the answer that best corrects the underlined portion of the passage. If the underlined portion is correct as written, choose "NO CHANGE."
a number of decades
decades and many years
tens of years
a ton
NO CHANGE
NO CHANGE
"Decade" means period of ten consecutive years, so it is redundant to repeat this information. Thus, "decades and tens of years" is redundant. "Tens of years" is not as succint as "decades," so it too is incorrect. "A ton" is too colloquial to be accepted in formal writing.
Example Question #283 : Writing And Revising Effectively
In today's society, (1) they have a popular TV series that (2) follows the life of 4-5 (3) young teenage girls who are trying to raise their child while being a teenager at the same time (4). The television series shows hardships, but they (5) focus more on the relationships of these girls rather than how much their baby’s diaper is changed or how often the baby spits up all over them. They always have a happy ending, giving teen girls these days hope that it (6) will do the same for them. The show focuses of (7) a different group of teen moms each season, but all being held back by having a child at a young age. Some are alone, some have significant others, and some even decided to give (8) their baby up for adoption, but not one of their lives are perfect nor easy (9). Some teenagers enjoy watching the show just to watch the babies grow, but others watch it because they think it’s popular, they think it will make them popular as well (10). The show is based upon these girl’s (11) lives and it doesn’t always seem to have to do with their children it has to do with them being teenagers (12).
Choose from the following four options the answer that best corrects the underlined mistake preceding the question number. If there is no mistake or the original text is the best option, choose "NO CHANGE."
the series
NO CHANGE
having a child
the happy ending
having a child
Again we have an ambiguous pronoun reference, but from the context of the rest of the paragraph, it is clear that "it" refers to "having a child" more than to any other possibility.
Example Question #284 : Writing And Revising Effectively
In today's society, (1) they have a popular TV series that (2) follows the life of 4-5 (3) young teenage girls who are trying to raise their child while being a teenager at the same time (4). The television series shows hardships, but they (5) focus more on the relationships of these girls rather than how much their baby’s diaper is changed or how often the baby spits up all over them. They always have a happy ending, giving teen girls these days hope that it (6) will do the same for them. The show focuses of (7) a different group of teen moms each season, but all being held back by having a child at a young age. Some are alone, some have significant others, and some even decided to give (8) their baby up for adoption, but not one of their lives are perfect nor easy (9). Some teenagers enjoy watching the show just to watch the babies grow, but others watch it because they think it’s popular, they think it will make them popular as well (10). The show is based upon these girl’s (11) lives and it doesn’t always seem to have to do with their children it has to do with them being teenagers (12).
Choose from the following four options the answer that best corrects the underlined mistake preceding the question number. If there is no mistake or the original text is the best option, choose "NO CHANGE."
the series
the series' producers
the teens
NO CHANGE
the series' producers
The referent for the pronoun "they" is ambiguous in the original, but it most likely refers to the people producing the series rather than the series itself (which would need a singular pronoun) or the teens in the series itself.
Example Question #284 : Writing And Revising Effectively
Adapted from The Autobiography of John Adams (ed. 1856) Here I will interrupt the narration for a moment to observe that, from all I have read of the history of Greece and Rome, England and France, and all I have observed at home and abroad, articulate eloquence in public assemblies is not the surest road to fame or preferment, at least, unless it be used with caution, very rarely, and with great reserve. The examples of Washington, Franklin, and Jefferson is enough to show that silence and reserve in public is more efficacious than argumentation or oratory. A public speaker who inserts himself, or is urged by others, into the conduct of affairs, by daily exertions to justify his measures, and answer the objections of opponents, makes himself too familiar with the public and unavoidably makes himself enemies. Few persons can bear to be outdone in reasoning or declamation or wit or sarcasm or repartee or satire, and all these things that are very apt to grow out of public debate. In this way, in a course of years, a nation becomes full of a man’s enemies, or at least, of such as have been galled in some controversy and take a secret pleasure in assisting to humble and mortify him. So much for this digression. We will now return to our memoirs.
Which of the following could be removed from the underlined sentence?
"into the conduct of affairs"
"and answer the objections of opponents"
"or is urged by others," "by daily exertions," and "and unavoidably makes himself enemies"
"or is urged by others" and "by daily exertions"
"or is urged by others" and "by daily exertions"
This sentence is very difficult to understand at first glance. This is in no small part due to the numerous asides that are expressed in it. Looking at the correct answer, we might see that these two selections could be set off with parentheses:
"A public speaker who inserts himself (or is urged by others) into the conduct of affairs, (by daily exertions) to justify his measures, and answer the objections of opponents, makes himself too familiar with the public and unavoidably makes himself enemies."
Now, removing the items in parentheses, we get:
"A public speaker who inserts himself into the conduct of affairs(,) to justify his measures(,) and answer the objections of opponents, makes himself too familiar with the public and unavoidably makes himself enemies."
Fixing the punctuation placed in parenthesis above solely for emphasis (and adding a clarifying expression in brackets for now), we can rewrite this as:
"A public speaker, who inserts himself into the conduct of affairs [in order] to justify his measures and answer the objections of opponents, makes himself too familiar with the public and unavoidably makes himself enemies."
This is somewhat clearer than the original form.
Example Question #285 : Writing And Revising Effectively
"Our Family Trip to Hawaii" by Jennifer Mings (2013)
Last summer, my mother, sister, brother, and me took a trip to Honolulu, Hawaii. We were excited to see everything, and couldn’t wait to arrive. After our lengthy plane ride, we stepped off of the plane in a daze. There was two flight attendants who immediately greeted us, putting flower wreaths around our necks. We then met up with our tour guide; and he told us that we would be going straight to Pearl Harbor.
On our way to Pearl Harbor, there was a largely immense amount of traffic, something that aggravated my mother. Luckily, the tour guide was a native of the island, and he was able to calm my mother down.
When we finally arrived at Pearl Harbor, there was many tourists and natives of different nationalities. The first thing we did when we arrived was watching a movie about the history of Pearl Harbor, which included the story of the USS Arizona. During the movie, everyone had been excited to see the USS Arizona Memorial and wanted to get on the boat. After, we all got on a boat and we were driven to the USS Arizona Memorial. It was an amazing, beautiful, gorgeous, and great experience for everyone.
Choose the answer that best corrects the bolded portion of the passage. If the bolded portion is correct as written, choose "NO CHANGE."
It was an amazing and beautiful experience for everyone
It was a beautiful, gorgeous, and great experience for everyone
NO CHANGE
It was an amazing, beautiful, gorgeous, great experience for everyone
It was an amazing and beautiful experience for everyone
This is because “amazing” and “great” mean the same thing, and “beautiful” and “gorgeous” mean the same thing, so one of each must be removed in order to avoid repetition.
Example Question #286 : Writing And Revising Effectively
"Our Family Trip to Hawaii" by Jennifer Mings (2013)
Last summer, my mother, sister, brother, and me took a trip to Honolulu, Hawaii. We were excited to see everything, and couldn’t wait to arrive. After our lengthy plane ride, we stepped off of the plane in a daze. There was two flight attendants who immediately greeted us, putting flower wreaths around our necks. We then met up with our tour guide; and he told us that we would be going straight to Pearl Harbor.
On our way to Pearl Harbor, there was a largely immense amount of traffic, something that aggravated my mother. Luckily, the tour guide was a native of the island, and he was able to calm my mother down.
When we finally arrived at Pearl Harbor, there was many tourists and natives of different nationalities. The first thing we did when we arrived was watching a movie about the history of Pearl Harbor, which included the story of the USS Arizona. During the movie, everyone had been excited to see the USS Arizona Memorial and wanted to get on the boat. After, we all got on a boat and we were driven to the USS Arizona Memorial. It was an amazing, beautiful, gorgeous, and great experience for everyone.
Choose the answer that best corrects the bolded portion of the passage. If the bolded portion is correct as written, choose "NO CHANGE."
There were an immense amount
There was a largely, immense amount
NO CHANGE
There was an immense amount
There was an immense amount
The adjectives “large” and “immense” mean the same thing, so only one of them should be used in order to avoid repetition.
Example Question #14 : Avoiding Ambiguity And Redundancy
"A Unique Journey" by Jasmine Tilley (2013)
While I was studying abroad in Europe, I had the great opportunity to travel to different countries. For one of my adventures, I chose to travel to Switzerland; however, the classmates I usually traveled with were unable to come with me. I was faced in deciding whether to go alone or not at all. This decision was easy for me, I was not going to pass up the opportunity to see Switzerland!
I first had to board a train from where I was staying in Italy to reach the southern part of Switzerland. Unfortunately, the train workers were on strike that day, so I ended up delayed in Milan for several hours. Soon enough I was on my way again. However, shortly after I reached the Switzerland border, the train stopped because one of the cars was filled with smoke! I still have no idea what happened, but after a few minutes we were moving again.
Once I finally reached Geneva, I had to walk to find the hostel where I was staying that I had booked. It was night, and I realized that I was truly alone. I did not know another soul in this entire country! This thought was both scary and exciting.
The next day, I walked all around Geneva. Being my own tour guide was a fantastic adventure. I saw all the major sites while also experiencing the culture. There was some sort of marathon going on that day, and there was so much excitement all throughout the city. There were live bands. It even rained off and on. Everything was new and interesting, and I loved it.
That evening, I boarded a train to Zermatt. Prior to this journey, I had no idea that the Matterhorn was an actual mountain! The city of Zermatt was very tiny and had no cars, only small electric vehicles that resembled wind-up toys. The whole city was lit up, and though I was walking to my hostel at night again, I felt very safe. Walking through Geneva at night, though, starkly contrasted it.
The next day, I decided to go skiing on the beautiful, snowy mountains in Zermatt. I rented a pair of skis and spent a few hours skiing in my jeans and coat! It was an amazing experience.
My journey to Switzerland is dear to me not just because of the many beautiful and exciting things I experienced, but also because I was alone. I had the time as well as the quiet atmosphere to absorb and contemplate not just what was going on around me but also what was going on inside myself. I felt changed somehow. I felt stronger and more independent.
Choose the answer that best corrects the bolded portion of the passage. If the bolded portion is correct as written, choose "NO CHANGE."
End the sentence after “the hostel” with a period and omit the rest of the underlined portion.
the hostel I had booked for myself to stay in
NO CHANGE
the hostel I had booked
the hostel I had booked
"NO CHANGE" and "the hostel I had booked for myself to stay in" are redundant, while "End the sentence after 'the hostel' with a period and omit the rest of the underlined portion" does not give us enough information.
Example Question #287 : Writing And Revising Effectively
During the final months of 2007, the prices of basic grains nearly doubled in Northern Africa, Latin America, and much of Asia, the high prices caused a global food crisis. The catastrophe sparked and incited an international debate regarding the licensing of new technologies to developing nations. One economist warned that because of the risk of unforeseen price shocks, officials should proceed very cautiously. The construction of private farms pose a serious financial threat to farmers in the United States; nevertheless, of the five most industrialized nations, the United States exports more crops.
How do some countries cope with food crises better than others. It is technology that accounts for the majority of the difference. The rate at which countries adopt innovations depends significantly on environmental factors. These environmental factors include climate, soil and elevation. The variability in environment inhibits new technologies from gaining worldwide popularity that are suited for one particular region over another. For example, the pesticides used in Europe are much more acidic than North America. Without the different levels of acidity, pests would prevent the crops to grow.
Choose the answer that best corrects the bolded portion of the passage. If the bolded portion is correct as written, choose "NO CHANGE."
NO CHANGE
incited
that incited
sparked, initiated, and incited
incited
In the context, "sparked" and "incited" are synonyms. To use both words is redundant. The answer choice "sparked, initiated, and incited" is incorrect because it adds even more redundancy to the phrase, and the answer choice "that incited" leads to a sentence fragment. The correct answer, "incited," avoids the redundancy problem and does not create a sentence fragment.
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