What A Reflection Holds by Ximena

What A Reflection Holds by Ximena - September 2022 Scholarship Essay

I have lived on both sides of the United States. From hot sand and palm trees to cold breezes and color-changing leaves. For a period of my life, I felt stubborn and pushed off by everything. I then picked up the ability to adjust who I am to others' perceptions of myself. Since my birth, I've been the abstract component. Even so, I've learned to feel comfortable in my skin and mute the world's outlook on me.

Over the course of these years, I have sought the truth of life. Beyond my commitment to my education, I found freedom. I no longer look at my study book as a whole but as a fragment of my life. My 4.1 GPA gained its value from late nights and long study sessions. However, I gained the knowledge to learn through books or experience things myself in life if I glimpse some more. My imagination has crafted my image of adulthood rather than holding its sentimental form. I got hired for my first job recently, bought my own essentials, and gained independence. I'm not embarrassed to say that I walk to my house alone, eat alone, or sit and wait for 2 hours to get to school alone. I hold my education high in the air like an award, but my self-sustainability too.

Moreover, I've discovered to live without regrets. I cared for the words of others more than my hurt feelings. "Do this better, be less of that," rings in my ear. I had trouble accepting changes and wanted to be worry-free forever. I was fearful of evolving until I gained confidence. My walk and my posture reflect my inner and outer image. I remember getting to class with a hood over my head and music reaching maximum volume. I questioned my happiness and what I needed to accomplish it. From that point on, I crafted myself into who I wanted to represent. Though I still face challenges, I choose to keep a chin up and an open mind.

Though I've achieved several things, the most significant one is finding a settling point. Balance and prosperity come hand in hand for a healthy soul. The Ying Yang, or the Moon and the Sun, are reflections I seek to gain knowledge from. My feelings and actions should never overrule the other because my emotions wouldn't be in control.

So if you were to ask me again, I'd tell my past self to flourish even when they poison my roots because I can't hide from myself anymore.