A 10-Point Lesson by Tyler

A 10-Point Lesson by Tyler - July 2016 Scholarship Essay

“I am not that smart. On a 10-point scale, I know I am a 7. However, I act like a 10 and thus am able to perform like an 9.” – Professor Gorman

Confidence, a seemingly simplistic feeling that comes naturally to many, has always been something I lacked. Ever since I was young, self-doubt was there, at first a noticeable flaw but eventually becoming a comforting crutch. My resistance to believe in my abilities allowed me to remain complacent, untouched by disappointment. Bound by my feelings of mediocrity, I would rarely push myself out of fear and belief that failure would surely ensue. Whenever an opportunity for the chance to test my limits came, I would wrestle with my mind over whether or not to act on it. In the midst of this indecisiveness, the chance would come and go. This left me justifying my apprehension to the uncomfortable by almost methodically repeating in my mind that I would have failed anyway.
As high school ended and college rapidly approached, I hoped to find my niche and grow into a more self-assured individual. Unfortunately, my insecurities followed me and this mindset of inadequacy still weighed heavily on my shoulders. Fear and anxiety of not being able to handle the more intensive curriculum consumed me, pushing me into isolation. It was not until my first finance class that I began to see cracks in this long-held attitude. My professor, Larry Gorman, was known in my school to be one of the most demanding but rewarding professors that a business student would have. From the first moment my professor spoke, he exuded confidence. This caught me off guard and had me questioning how someone could be so sure of himself. My professor is in no way coy. He is extremely honest and will not hesitate to tell you exactly what is on his mind. This blunt honesty is what made me respect him and is what eventually pushed me to not just passively listen to his advice but to apply it in my life.
After each lesson, he would recall a story of his past and weave it into a deeper life lesson. One day he recalled a time where he agreed to open a seminar on a topic he was vastly unknowledgeable about. He said that although he prepared vigorously for it, if it were not for his unwavering belief in his ability to learn the material and present it confidently, he would have never accepted the job and foregone a once in a lifetime experience. He urged us to believe in ourselves, to understand that if you don’t have faith in your abilities how can you expect anyone else to. He implored us to seek out the unfamiliar and to not fear failure but rather embrace it as a chance to not just learn but better ourselves from it. This resonated deeply with me. I felt as if the bonds that my attitude kept me in loosened. For so long, I let my fear and unwillingness to trust myself control my every decision. I missed out on experiences and opportunities that would have allowed me to grow, to become a wiser, stronger person. I refuse to now and since then, I have forced myself to breach my comfort zone, to test my skills and use my talents. In the wake of this, my former doubts are slowing washing away and in place, a more well-rounded, confident person is emerging.
Confidence, something most don’t have to be taught, was my greatest lesson. Professor Gorman opened my eyes and unknowingly set me on a path I never thought I would have the courage to walk. I am now more assured of myself than ever and have no intention of ever allowing my doubts lead me astray again. I used to believe I was a 3, now I believe I am a 6. However, I will never again act like one. I will strive to be a 10 and I hope that I will perform like a 9.