Grateful for the "-tions" in My Life by True

Grateful for the "-tions" in My Life by True - May 2023 Scholarship Essay

Isolation. Temptation. Frustration. Medication. Determination. Education.

At only 18, I have already lived through all of these and more. All of my past experiences have played a big part in what I’d like my major to be in college and what I want accomplish after I graduate: I want to own a volleyball club. But not just a traditional one where the only skills taught are volleyball.

Here’s my story…

If you'd told me when I was little that I would struggle as a teenager, I never would've believed you. As I got older, though, things changed: I got into arguments with friends, I started doing badly in school, and I didn’t smile or laugh as often. I didn’t understand why at the time, but as I look back I realize I was coming to terms with being gay. There’s nothing wrong with that, of course, but my peers didn't make it easy for me. I’m 6’5”, gay, and I play a sport guys don’t play in my small town: volleyball. I was absolutely an outsider.

Understandably, my self-confidence was awful. I felt so alone and just wanted to fit in. Anywhere. So I looked for that sense of belonging in the wrong places. I chose “friends” who would accept me, but that led to problems in both school and at home. I made very bad choices, cut classes, had issues with teachers, and I lied to my parents constantly. Something helpful came out of those awful times, though: they led to me being diagnosed with depression. That diagnosis helped me understand why I struggled so much. It helped me understand why I didn’t smile anymore. And it helped me understand why I actually tried to commit suicide one night. If my parents and I hadn’t figured out that I need medication to help me control my depression, I truly don’t know where I would be right now.

Or if I would even BE.

During those times, volleyball was one thing that made me genuinely happy, so my parents and I worked to support it. This is one reason I know I will reach my goal of having a volleyball club: I have so much passion and grit when it comes to this sport that I love. I have to explain my volleyball situation because it will help you understand how much time and effort it actually took to make it happen. That small town I live in doesn’t offer volleyball for boys, so we had to find it somewhere else. That turned out to be a high school 55 miles away and a club team 95 miles away. We all knew it would be a HUGE commitment, but we decided to make the investment, both financially and time-wise. I have driven literally thousands of miles over the past 6 years.

My mental health issues also contributed to my academics. The traditional path was just not working for me, so I ended up transferring to a local alternative school. It was a very hard decision to make, but I’m glad I made the switch. I'm doing much better academically. I now have a cumulative GPA of over 3.5, and I achieved a 4.0 for the first time on my last report card! Who knows where I would be academically had all of this not happened. I’m also improving on a personal level. I feel stronger and more confident.

When I was younger, I wasn’t sure what I wanted to as a career, but that has changed because of what I’ve learned from my experiences. My ultimate goal is to own a volleyball club. The first step I’ll take to make that happen is to major in sports management/ business administration, and if I’m lucky enough to earn this scholarship, it would go directly towards paying for that. I’d love to provide a space for kids to come and feel the way I do when I’m playing. Not only do I want to teach them about volleyball though, I also want to teach them about the importance of empathy, confidence, and kindness, traits I could have benefited from, and traits we all need so badly. I’ve learned that I’m a very empathetic person, and I want to share that with the kids at my club to help make it an empowering and safe space for everyone.

My path has not been a straight one, but it’s led me to where I am now, so I wouldn’t change a thing. I’m grateful for every –tion I’ve experienced!