Found My Life Goal by Tho

Found My Life Goal by Tho - May 2017 Scholarship Essay

Growing up in a country that has been falling into series of wars for more than one thousand years, most stories I have heard older people talk was all about wars. Cambodia’s most genocide war history was called, “The Killing Field.” It sounds unbelievable and scary that more than two millions innocent Khmer people were killed in about four years. It’s hard for a new generation like me to accept this reality without seeking for reasons. Unfortunately, not many people could clearly clarify me what were consequences of that history. This chronicle was unclear and complicated. The question that nobody could explain me was, “Is it real that Khmer leaders in that regime did that tragic without any secret influences from foreign country?” I’m also one of Khmer people; I know how kind and wonderful we are. That’s why I never believe that Khmer leaders cruelly killed their own citizens. The sad thing is nobody dared to speak about this history publicly. A big part of real story was eliminated from education system. There were a few authors wrote about it, but they were, later, killed and books were nationally destroyed. I fortunately got a book from one of my grandfather’s friends. The title of it is “Khmer Behavior.” The author is Mr. Bun Chanmol, a politician and general of Khmer Republic regime.
The book depicts about chronicle of the transition from Cambodia under French colonial to Khmer Republic and the action of a group of patriotism soldiers who tried to rescue the country. The abolishment of that group influenced the establishment of Pol Pot regime. There were a big confusion between Khmer and Khmer that was influenced by Vietnamese government. This confusion still exist until my generation and now my country is in dangerous situation. After I finished reading this book, my life direction has been clearly set; I also found my purpose, passion and obligation to bring a real peace and better change to my country.
This is my commitment that I wrote in that book after I finished reading it:
My name’s Chin, Thomith. I’m nineteen year-old and live in Battambang province, Cambodia. Today I successfully finished reading “Khmer Behavior” book that is written by Bun, Chanmol, a politician and general of Khmer Republic regime. I now understand more clearly about Khmer political history.
I’m not a politician, but because I’m fortunate to be born as Khmer, I commit myself to stand for what is right for my country. I will do my best to share my knowledge to people of my generation and next ones so that I can wake them up from a deep sleep of confusion. I will work with all good people to rescue our nation from dictatorship and a group of people who are taking our country to play their game for granted.
I strongly hope that all Cambodian people will stand up and work together with me to bring positive changes for our country and make it become a great nation.