True Heroism by Taija

True Heroism by Taija - July 2016 Scholarship Essay

The most important and lifelong lesson that I have ever learned from a teacher was not an experience, but a quote. "We are all heroes, even if the only person each of us will be able to save is ourselves." I remember the exact day this statement was brought to the forefront of the battle that is and will always be my mind.
It was a Tuesday, of all the days of the week, a Tuesday. It was raining hard and I'd missed the bus. And in the True fashion of my parents, I would have to walk the 3 miles to my high school. Determined and foolish with pride, I vowed that if I asked them for this ride now, I would forever be asking them for help when I should be standing on my own two feet. So, I packed my books and a light windbreaker jacket--I had never owned an umbrella-- and set out on a journey I knew I was going to making a lot. As I turned the corner to the street that would initiate my quest, a hill rose in the distance, as though it were taunting me. Anyone who is a fan of a treadmill or even long-distance running, is aware of the challenge that accompanies an incline. I knew the hill would be the hardest thing to overcome, so I made it my goal to do just that.
My journey began at a slow pace. I knew that attempting to run the massive eminence would tire me out fast, though I was certainly no stranger to going the distance. After a short while, the prominence was hidden from view, but the ache in my calves made its location known. "Don't freak out, don't freak out.", I whispered to no one but me. It was in that moment that I became aware of all the cars, passing me by, splashing the puddles, probably filled with people, living their lives. The envy that coursed through me was followed swiftly by indignation and self entitlement, with a hint of hypocrisy. In my opinion, anyone with a vehicle that passed me by could have at least attempted to make it seem as though they cared, even though I knew that I had sometimes despised my parents' generosity towards people in similar situations to my own. But, the feelings did not shock me in the slightest. These feelings were normal. I shook the thoughts away as though they were some sort of ensnarement. And, in a way they were. As I brushed the sweat that I didn't know it was possible to have in pouring rain from my eyes, I took a look. This time, what I saw exhilarated and kind of frightened me. Before me, was the entire city and even those cities surrounding mine. In that moment, I saw the world, big and bright and enigmatic, rapidly evolving. In that moment, I saw history being made, realizing that every second that past was a part of it, even if it couldn't possibly be written down. I stopped for a moment, and screamed. I yelled in anger and hatred and jealousy and hurt. At least that what it was for at first. But, the anger turned to relief. And pretty soon, every bad emotion that I felt faded from white-hot to a distant memory of what had been. I finally stopped scaring the birds and decided to take a seat. And for the next thirty minutes, I just sat in the rain. It had turned from a down pour to a slight sprinkle. I watched the city finally come to life. I was going to miss class, if I hadn't already. For the first time in my life, I felt serenity. But, I knew that nothing would last forever. As I stood shakily to my feet, the sun began to peek through the now happy clouds. This was somehow symbolic. There were always going to be storms. But, I was even more certain of the Sun's return to view than anything. The school began to get closer and closer. Until finally, I was at the door of my classroom, with a tardy pass in hand. It was in that moment that, something that my 7th grade English teacher said resonated with my soul. "You are all heroes, even if the only person you manage to save is yourself." That day I finally learned and actually understood what that meant.