Blood Clots and Covid by Sunee

Blood Clots and Covid by Sunee - May 2022 Scholarship Essay

October 2017 should have been a fresh and exciting time. A short five months before, I was honored to be the first member of my family to earn a bachelor’s degree and was starting my first fulltime job later that week. It would be the first time since I was five years old that I spent an October not enrolled in a semester of school, but out in the work force, using the digital and mass media communications degree I earned to become an insurance claims adjuster. This job, I hadn’t dreamed about, but I dreamt of employment, and this would do. Instead of excitement as I marched into the next chapter of my life, I felt a fierce pain in my left leg.
Believing nothing could stop my momentum from attending my fulltime job and enjoying my new freedom I discovered I couldn’t’ walk. When I could barely muster up a limp, I knew it was time to visit a doctor. Deep vein thrombosis - a small blood clot - was the robust pain in my leg and by now it was coupled with pulmonary embolism or, a plethora of little blood clots in my lungs. Life as I envisioned seemed over in my mind, as I listened to the doctor tell me I had a genetic blood clotting disorder, and this fear would be forever. I felt betrayed by my body for allowing this silent killer to remain dormant only to surface at a time I felt truly alive. Anxiety became a permanent fixture in my life but somehow momentum didn’t slow.
Insurance was a difficult field to work in but every day I spoke to individuals like me, uncertain people needing medical care. Propelled out of my comfort zone, I was forced to work through my anxiety and assist patients in any way I could at work. Two years later, what coping skills I gained at my first job were used to take a leap into alternate employment. Stability had returned, and my next goal was tangible. October 2019 was the time of enhancing the study skills that were forgotten in 2017 as the idea returning to school was entertained.
The covid 19 pandemic threw a wrench in thoughts to continue my education. Fully intending on applying for an MBA graduate program in February of 2020, I was shocked to learn that the majority of programs I was interested in were no longer accepting applicants. That shock transitioned to anxiety as March grew closer and global panic heightened. In March of 2020 we were sent home from work and made to work from home. We reported to work that day, March 13th 2020, but by noon we were asked to leave and use any device we could to reconnect with our team. Two months later, our department head announced that we were being furloughed following budget cuts.
With my daily obligation of employment depleted I had no need to look presentable. Forcing myself to shower came next, as I slipped into a depression at the mercy of my thoughts. Summer was usually a time of positivity, but I felt isolated and anxious. Through my mental fog, I made plans to study for the GRE. Planning gave me structure and with structure came the confidence to will my overactive imagination to still. I took the test in solitude due to testing center closures and decided I would still apply to graduate school despite my reservations. The application was sent in and before long I heard back, accepted. Hope had returned amidst the thought that the world still may end. Despite the medical, financial, and mental hardships I had been through in the past three years I knew others had and would continue to experience worse, and with my hope I could restore my position in the world. The goals I had set to become an adaptive leader and enrich my community would be able to continue, and with this hope I could no longer let my anxious mindset take hold.