The Thoughts of Others by Stephanie

The Thoughts of Others by Stephanie - January 2026 Scholarship Essay

Every day I feel like I’m always being watched by someone. I know that I’m not, but that feeling that everyone is watching my every move makes me feel so vulnerable. Ever since I’ve started elementary school I felt like I was being judged by everything I do, what I wear, and what I say. Perhaps someone was watching me, or it could have been all in my head, but I tend to have the habit of choosing what I do in the thought of what others are going to think about me. However, I found the strength in myself to not care about what others think, instead I ask myself, what do I think?
Since the start of third grade, many kids had started to comment on someone else's person, whether it was the way they spoke or how they performed academically. Even with their stare you get the sense of vulnerability in yourself, almost as if they can see right through you. They judge me for being a chubby person, someone who takes things too seriously, but because I was taller than most of them at the time, they really didn’t say as much. For the longest time I had always felt vulnerable to the opinions of others, it affected the way I did certain things. I started to dress and act differently around people. In the back of my mind I still think about them and how other people are perceiving me. Even if we were kids, everyone had an impact on someone.
As I got into middle school, I noticed that an abundant amount of people think they are being judged by the eyes of others, even if they aren’t. I remember my friends told me they felt judged by someone, when that person did not say or do anything to imply judgment. I asked them, “how do you know if that's how they actually feel about you, or if they are aware that you exist,” I didn’t get much of a response after that. I had found it extremely ridiculous that we care so much about someone else’s opinion and less about our own. From that day, I was able to find the strength to not care about someone's thoughts about me. I finally broke from the imaginary thought of people picking out my insecurities through their eyes.
Soon enough, I had made my way into high school. Since I was able to change that horrifying mentality, I was able to gain more confidence in myself. I started to dress how I like, act how I feel comfortable, and was able to learn more things about myself. I wasn’t locked behind others' judgement anymore- I finally felt like myself. I know that in time I will go to college, I’ll be surrounded by even more people than I am now. But now that I don’t worry about others' opinions, I won’t be affected by their stares or their whispers. I will continue to grow this mentality for my future.
All things considered, the strength that I found at a young age has helped me grow into someone new in high school. I will continue to grow this power to become someone stronger and even more confident. I want to show people that they never need to feel restricted by people's eyes. Tell them that they can do whatever they feel is more comfortable, wear what you like, say what your heart desires. With this mindset anyone can truly be themselves, become someone greater- a new person.