My Motivation by Sophia

My Motivation by Sophia - April 2024 Scholarship Essay

Alone in my room, I stand listening to the continuous ring of my cell phone messages. I check…”Sophia how are you doing?”, “Sophia are you okay?. Nothing could have prepared me for the next 5 words I was about to read:“Did you hear? Maleek’s dead.”

Sophomore year was one of the most eye opening years for me: hardships with friends, difficulty with my classes, and just not being surrounded by the right environment, but I somehow still managed to carry my ways through. Maleek and I met in the middle of the most stressful times of our lives, it was our first year back in school after being online for so long. We gradually grew closer and he made me feel like I was capable of reaching my goals. He spent multiple days after school with me, listening to me rant and express myself. He was genuinely the one I went to when I needed it the most. Eventually Maleek and I went separate ways and I made the decision to put myself first. We only ever made subtle signals to each other here and there that we care, but I involved myself in the wrong things a couple weeks after.

I became the next victim to substance abuse which interfered with my academic performance, and the ability to keep people in my life and even basic daily functions. After months of this happening there was one moment where, as under the influence as I was, me and Maleek crossed paths. I could see it on his face, the disappointment that this was the position I wound up getting myself into. I felt the disappointment because we both knew that this is where I should have not been in life. I remember him telling me, shaking his head in disbelief “You lost yourself Sophie, I can't even see you the same.” and that's when I knew that I really did lose the person I was, my potential academically and physically didn't matter to me anymore.
Spring break was coming up and I tried to force myself to take the opportunity to get better and direct myself in the right direction. That Friday, in gym class he was sitting there on the bench, and I caught him looking at me. I asked him why he was looking at me if he hated me. He laughed and told me “You know I'm always going to love you.”

Those were the last words Maleek said to me before his innocent life was taken, before he was capable of succeeding to achievements, graduating, working, becoming financially and physically happy and healthy. You never know when it's going to be your or someone's last day, life gets hard and is capable of destroying even the strongest of people but despite all the hardships, take all opportunities for granted, people come into your life to motivate you. From here on out I want to take advantage of all the possibilities that are brought for me, to achieve the education goal and partake in a successful field such as forensic anthropology, finishing an incomplete story, and studying the fragility of the human body. I push myself everyday to start and finish the day feeling like I've accomplished something, and I continue to do so.