Runner's Dream by Sondos

Runner's Dream by Sondos - April 2019 Scholarship Essay

As senior year approached, I vigorously trained for the meet that would determine my future. All I had to do was win the state cross-country meet and I would achieve exactly what I’d been working for: a full ride to run at a Division One university. I was only one cross-country meet from my dream, a dream that I was intensely driven to put endless hours of work on every day for the past three years, building character through the blood, sweat, and tears I invested. Then one day during a hurdle drill at practice, I flew over the last hurdle, something I've done at least a million times. When my leg hit the ground, I heard a nasty snap and excruciating pain shot up my body. I laid unable to move on the cold track pavement, fear gripping my heart.
After two weeks in between denial and doctor’s appointments, the long road to rehabilitation, starting with reconstructive surgery, began. The nights after the surgery were dreadfully painful. I went from being a very strong, unstoppable athlete to struggling to get from my bed to the bathroom. I was not mentally prepared to experience anything like that. I collapsed to rock bottom. The combination of my impaired legs, fresh scars, and feeling like a caged animal was agonizing. One moment, I was internally screaming, so close to ripping the IV out of my arm, and the next, I was completely numb, knocked out cold on narcotics. I just could not cope. I lost my sense of purpose and interest in everything I loved. I was constantly in fear of being so far from my goal that I would give up on it. I really wanted to believe that my injured leg was the sole cause of my distress because it would mean that in six months’ time everything would be just fine. During a conversation with my mom, as she handed me a bottle of painkillers she knew I wouldn’t take, she remarked that tearing my ACL was a sign that I wasn't meant to be a runner. In that moment I realized my true fear stemmed from something much deeper, a battle I have fought my whole life: the discrepancy between the part of me that strives to be nothing less than great, and my culture and family which attempted to restrain the slightest ambition out of cultural norms. My parents discouraged me from pursuing my athletic passion under the scapegoat of faith or family. I struggled because of the lack of support and overbearing control from my family, stuck between who I was and who I was forced to be.
All the adversity I have faced in my lifetime has taught me to never doubt my potential to succeed. For the first time in my life, I was faced with an adversary that I couldn’t overcome. Although, I struggled with the loss of identity that I had gained from athletics, I was humbled but not broken. The intense mental endurance I had developed while running helped me survive the struggle. My parents preached conformity, which everything I strived for lacked. I constantly had to remind myself that my resilience would be worth it in the end and the thought of a hopeful future kept me going.
No matter how bad things got, in the end I always reached the same conclusion: whatever it takes, I will fight for my dreams. The fight within me unconditionally fueled my resilience. Running cross-country has awakened the ability within me to get up and try again time after time, even when everything seems lost. I discovered the power of having a strong faith and embraced my persistence. Now I was really fighting, just like I had always done on the cross-country course. I knew exactly what to do when my prayers were answered, my season-ending injury taught me what to do when they weren't.