First Generation Growth by Shahd

First Generation Growth by Shahd - January 2022 Scholarship Essay

My first semester of college did not go as I initially planned... I have faced many challenges due to my mental health, lack of transportation and financial circumstances. Not only that, but I am also a first-generation college student, and I did not have anyone to guide me through my first semester of college. During my first semester at IUPUI, I was an exploratory studies major which meant I was exploring different classes to figure out what career path was right for me… Unfortunately, the classes that I chose did not give me any clarity and I felt so lost. I felt an immense amount of pressure to pick a major because I graduated with an associate degree along with a Technical and Honors Diploma in high school. This allowed me to finish all my prerequisites and as a freshman I had 76 college credits transferred. I thought this meant I should know what my career path should be as soon as possible. I felt like I did not have enough time to explore what I wanted compared to other freshmen who were still taking prerequisites classes.

In addition, I was in a cycle of needing money, transportation and guidance which caused me to develop an anxiety disorder. I always felt like I am behind on my educational goals in my first year of college because I lacked the resources necessary to be successful. I was not able to afford my books, or transportation. Eventually, it became hard to get out of bed as I lost motivation due to my challenges and I have stopped attending my first semester classes. This has caused me to fail all my classes.

Being a first-generation student is not easy, you must teach yourself everything without any support from your family. I had to teach myself how to apply for FAFSA, how to study in college, how to manage your time and how to get around in my university. I felt abandoned emotionally and physically because I was not able to receive any aid from my family compared to my peers who had relatives who were able to help them navigate college. However, to be fair, being the daughter of an immigrant warehouse worker, I could not be mad at my mother since she has never attended higher education before.

Yet, I turned my collegiate career around for the better. After a difficult first semester of college, I decided not to give up on my higher education. It was important for me to get my degree. I had to think to myself what I want for my future, and I have concluded that getting a bachelor's degree is my ticket out. Therefore, to give up was not an option for me. The first thing I have done is tell myself that I must push harder no matter how disadvantaged I was. Not only that but I had to learn to take advantage of opportunities that are available to me. Specifically, opportunities that would change the trajectory of my life. I started to explore different leadership and advocacy positions at school which helped me figure out what my interests in a career were. I am currently involved in multiple leadership and advocacy positions, such as being a President of a club named Alliance for Immigrant Justice, a Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion Committee member at IUPUI, and an Undergraduate Student Government Senator. All these activities allowed me to explore my interest and I have found out that I have a passion to speak for the underrepresented and work in government. The second thing I have done to strengthen my academic success in 2021 was seek mental health services at IUPUI. I have learned that in order to be successful, you must keep your mental health in check. Another thing I have done to improve was balance school and work. I have felt exhausted working during the pandemic at a hospital, but I was able to purchase a vehicle and commute to school. Lastly, I started to manage my time and dedicate most of my time to my future. I strive for the best only and I have been on the Dean's Highest Honors List for three consecutive semesters. In addition, I was able to obtain an internship at the Indiana Supreme Court. All my efforts will be worth it for my future.

As a first-generation student, college felt like a rollercoaster. Sometimes I felt scared, exhausted and disappointed. I have encountered failure and my path was rough, but I never stopped working towards my dreams even when I felt all these emotions. You must leave yourself open to experience to learn, grow, and help others along the way. Failure helped me to learn about what I want more than anything. I want to be a lawyer to advocate for social justice and protect the rights of immigrants. Another significant discovery in my journey was that in order to reach your goals you must seek opportunities that come your way such as this scholarship. The $200 LSAT scholarship will help me cover some of the costs of preparing for the exam. I have been a client of Varsity Tutors before and it is great to see that the company is helping students pave their way.