Struggling with English by Selah

Struggling with English by Selah - December 2024 Scholarship Essay

“Math brains and English brains.” Those close to me are familiar with this phrase. I have always found it fascinating how people can have such different ways of thinking, and different strengths and weaknesses. One prime example of this is my sister and I. At only 17 months apart, we are very similar in many ways. We have the same sense of humor, the same silly side, the same sense of justice, and a feminist steak. But she has what I call an “English brain” while I have a “math brain.” I thrive in classes like calculus and physics, while barely eeking out an A in literature and composition classes. She is the exact opposite, preferring analysis of passages to calculating equations or solving for inequalities.
As someone who has always valued my education and worked hard to get good grades, I was devastated when I couldn’t manage to finish an English class with an A. In 11th grade, I dual enrolled English 1102 in an online class. I struggled with the writing that was required, never quite seeming to grasp it. I had always thought that I would finish high school with a 4.0, top of my class, and these hopes were seemingly dashed. Many couldn’t understand my devastation at this grade saying, “a B is still really good! It’s not like you failed!” Then why did it feel so much like failure?
Gradually, I’ve come to accept that this one grade does shatter the concept that I am a good student. One grade doesn’t take away from years of hard work and dedication. One grade doesn’t mean that I’m not smart or not enough.