The Elephant in the Pool by Sebastian

The Elephant in the Pool by Sebastian - May 2022 Scholarship Essay

The bell rang! It is 7th period. I am walking towards the gymnasium on my first day of High School. My new teacher announces, "we are beginning with the SWIM unit." My heart sank. The truth is, I have always struggled with body image, this includes the incessant: tugging at my shirt, crossing my arms, and wearing winter jackets in the summer heat. My friends chat in excitement about the class. I sit as a lonely soul being the only person who took the news resentfully. Two days later, it is time for the swim unit. We form groups, I secretly find solace with those whom are wearing a swim shirt and resemble me. Even though I may not look "heavy", I feel heavy. One could say I am an expert "cover upper", and make myself look decent with the camouflage of multiple layers. We are directed to jump in, and swim laps back and fourth. I go second in my group.

I awkwardly plunge in, pulling on my shirt. I feel the eerie warmish water creep over my stomach as the "mesh-like" polyester glues to my body, evidencing the unseemly curves. The feeling is out of this world and uncomfortable. I immediately tug and pull at my shirt. Fast forward, class ends, and we change in the locker room. Now comes the strategic part of the mission. After nervously waiting for the others in the locker room to leave, I must as quickly as possible, rip off my wet shirt and throw on the dry one with no one in sight. This continues for the next 4 weeks. In the end, I push aside the fact that I completed the swim unit. I am more excited how I successfully was able to avoid people in the locker room as I changed... I give myself a mental pat on the back.

For the next 2 years, I hold this obscure "achievement" in my head, as If I accomplished something special. Soon, after gaining more maturity, and perspective on how the real world works; I came to terms with the understanding that this defeatist attitude was getting me know where and providing me with nothing but heart-ache. I worked to find peace with my body image, and started to be proactive, instead of reactive. I began to exercise and eat more healthy, and worked to find an inner peace that did not define myself by the way that I looked, but by who I am as a person. I am not thin now, but am actively working on my health. I am a much more confident as a person, and do my best to share my change in attitude with others who are experiencing similar isolated feelings in High School. It may sound a bit cliché, but if more students would define themselves by who they are, not what they have or what they look like, I think that mental health would be more manageable for young people.