What We Want to be Isn't Always What We Are by Sara

What We Want to be Isn't Always What We Are by Sara - January 2019 Scholarship Essay

Every once in a while someone will ask me if I am a morning person or a night owl. My answer is always the same. I am genetically programmed to be a night owl. It is not that I don’t like getting up early in the morning. I enjoy watching the sun rise and feel the fresh, cool air blow across my face as I walk outside early in the morning to start my day. I love the feeling like I have all the time in the world to accomplish the day’s to do list and any challenges that come up. However, I never go to bed early enough to enjoy all the things I love to do in the mornings.

I always have intent each night to go to bed earlier than eleven o’clock so that when I wake up I am able to have a relaxing morning. I would prefer to wake up naturally before my alarm instead of after. Unfortunately, this never happens to me because of my rigorous schedule that includes sports, school, homework, a job, and my own personal procrastination. I do not manage to turn the lights off until sometime after midnight causing me to feel drowsy and rushed the next morning. Missing out on the opportunity to experience all of the things I love about the morning so that I can hopefully make it to school on time and start my day.

As the day wears on the tired feeling increases until I feel as though I can barely move my legs and keep my eyes open. Daydreaming becomes a job just to keep myself awake for the remaining hours of the day. Just when I think I am about to fall over from sleep deprivation my practice starts.

During practice my adrenaline starts pumping taking away most of the sleepiness, but not all of it. The feeling usually goes away after I’m done and able to refuel with dinner which is usually around six thirty. This is when my second wind occurs providing me enough energy to productive for a few more hours. I feel as though I have tons of energy to use, but not enough time to put it into anything long term. I do what I can to complete my homework, study for any upcoming test, and do my nightly routine of preparing for the next day. Once those are done, I attempt to lay down around midnight and rest my mind from the day’s activities. While lying there all I do is wish that I could spend hours upon hours reading for leisure, but I know that I will regret it the next day when I am even more tired than the night before.

If I could choose to be a morning person or a night owl I would without a doubt choose to be a morning person. I feel that I would successfully accomplish more during my wake hours. However, I have inherited and developed a dangerous sleep pattern that causes me to be a night owl. I am usually forced to wake up by my third alarm, or the sun shining directly into my eyes through my window which is purposely designed to be right next to my bed. My attempt to fix this unhealthy lifestyle is by setting a personal goal for myself this summer by focusing on going to bed earlier and develop the new habit prior to leaving for college in August. Fingers crossed that I reach my goal.