Coding For Friendship by Samantha

Coding For Friendship by Samantha - January 2016 Scholarship Essay

My New Year’s resolution is to make at least one friend in every one of my classes. As a girl studying Computer Science Engineering, I am constantly overwhelmed with the ratio of male to female students. Besides sometimes feeling intimidated by my peers, I also found it difficult to feel a sense of belonging. There are studies that show that company employees work better and, more importantly, are happier if they can say they have a ‘best friend’ at work. After reading that, I realized one important thing: during my fall semester I hadn’t made a single new friend. As a mostly extroverted person, this worried me. I fell into a routine of going-in, getting-out of my classes. My apartment became a comfort zone to work and study. I was the only member in my study group and my grades reflected it. There was something I understood then: College is not just a personal journey, but a human experience. Creating groups, working together, meeting new people are all part of that experience. It doesn’t only reflect well on your own growth and academic achievements, it also does miracles to your social awareness.

On New Year’s Eve, I thought about all the goals I wanted to achieve in 2016. The list included the usual: exercising, eating better, getting enough sleep. But I had to make the decision to add a new goal, one that was unfamiliar to me and that it had always come naturally before. “Make at least one friend in every class”. In order to do this, however, there were a few steps I needed to take first. The most important was to be okay with making mistakes and asking dumb questions. In Computer Science, both tend to happen a lot. And the fear of embarrassment or feeling inferior to others can be a giant obstacle that kept me from befriending other incredibly smart and capable students. The second step was to avoid assumptions. There is no reason to assume someone doesn’t want to be my friend. There is nothing I can assume before introducing myself and sharing a conversation. If they don’t like me, I can simply say goodbye and try again with someone else. And the third, but just as important step, is to work harder to learn the subject so that when I do join a study group, I will be able to bring in as much as I take away. I want to be as valuable to the team as they will be to me.

By the end of 2016, I hope to have better experience in ‘making friends’ and as silly as it sounds, I am certain it will make a difference in my role as a student. My ultimate goal is to be able to recognize people who might struggle in the future the way I did. Find other students, especially female students in the STEM fields, reach out to them, and become the friend I am looking for now. I hope this will help students feel more integrated and create a more welcoming environment for people, including me, to become the best students we can be.