Lost and Found by Samantha

Lost and Found by Samantha - April 2016 Scholarship Essay

I have a knack for getting lost. In my car, in a good book, in music, in life. However, I also have a knack for finding my way back. The beginning of my junior year was the exception to this rule. I felt lost, unprepared, and in over my head. Most of my friends were older than me and moving on, getting into colleges, slowly letting go and saying goodbye. I was enrolled in the most challenging courses I had ever attempted, I was mourning the loss of volleyball in my life because of an ankle injury, and I was beginning to feel more and more detached from my family. I didn't know where I belonged or what direction I wanted my life to take, like I had made a wrong turn but had no idea how to get back on the right track.
Then I found mock trial. It was something I had always wanted to try, but had never found the time. So, with nothing left to lose, I attended a meeting. My life has been infinitely different since that day. I had no idea what I was getting into, but I knew it felt right. I was suddenly surrounded by driven, passionate people who pushed me. I felt a shift in my mind. I became a more driven student, formed friendships on my team, and developed an insatiable appetite for all things regarding law and politics. Where I had previously held a rather apathetic view, mock trial made me see the change and the good it could bring about. I wanted to be a part of that. I wanted to effect positive change.
However, there was still a part of me that felt it wasn't right. I had no experience outside of practices and, aside from a sudden surge in interest, had no idea whether I would excel or fail, whether I would lose interest or whether the field would show interest in me. The day of my team's first competition was incredibly nerve wracking. I felt unprepared. I had never been in a courtroom, I had never performed in front of a judge, I had never argued an objection that wasn't from my own teammate. However, this quickly became the moment I found myself again. It wiped away all the fears I had about failure or lack of passion.
From the time we are young we are told that there will be a “lightbulb moment”. That something will happen and you will know right away who you are and what is your purpose. I don't know if that day in that courthouse in that courtroom was my moment, but that's the beauty of the thing. I don't know if I found my purpose, but I know I found my passion. It's what drives me and makes me feel like I belong, where I turn when I feel lost. I wish I could go back and make this discovery sooner, but we can’t change the past. We can only tell our stories and hope that those following us get it right. So to future students: don’t be afraid to get lost, you will find your way home. The path you take may not be the one you expected, but it will lead to something beautiful.