History Meltdown by Sadie

History Meltdown by Sadie - July 2025 Scholarship Essay

There I was, with my back on the floor and tears streaming down my face, wondering where it all went wrong. I was blubbering to my mom about a missing assignment that could’ve raised my grade to a 90%. I still wonder what would’ve happened if I had turned in said assignment, but I have since let it go. It wasn’t that long ago actually, it was a couple days after my shoulder surgery during winter break.

It was the end of the first semester of sophomore year, and grades were finally posted. I was super nervous to look at my AP World History final grade because I had to take my finals early due to my surgery. Earlier that week, I was positive that I had done very poorly on both of the parts of my two-part final. I did the math and had prepared myself emotionally to receive the lowest grade I would ever get: an 86%. However, when I scrolled down to my supposedly disappointing grade, it turned out to be 89%. Most people, in this situation, would’ve been relieved, happy or excited even. I, however, was devastated. An 89?, I thought. Of course, the thought immediately following it was: Which assignment did I not do that will forever ruin my perfect 4.0 GPA? So I checked. And as I did, I remembered the homework assignment I specifically did not do because of how long it would take me. I really hoped that it was my finals that dragged my grade down because if it was, in fact, that homework assignment, I would quite literally cry.

I looked at my finals, and surprisingly, I actually did a lot better than I thought I would do. So, I tried not to worry about it and be proud of myself; history was, after all, my only AP class and my worst subject. But a few days later, I found myself lying on the floor sobbing to my mom that it was all because of that one assignment. I told her that I rechecked the assignment I thought was due and it turned out to be from the wrong week and that instead of taking notes on 31 pages, I would’ve had to only take notes on 8 pages. I was so distraught! I remember my mom telling me we could email my teacher and ask for another chance. “No, mom! It will only make it worse! She’s scary and will forever judge me for it!” I sobbed. But then my mom said something I will never forget: “I will not let my daughter give up! You are going to fight for this, because this is really important to you.” She told me she would call my choir teacher for tips on how to write a good email to a difficult teacher.

Eventually, with the coaxing from both my mom and my choir teacher, I found the courage to write the email and send it to her. I didn’t hear back from her for a couple of days, which wasn’t surprising, considering it was a few days before Christmas. But she finally wrote back. I had a combination of excitement and nervousness, and yet I couldn’t bring myself to open it. A couple days after Christmas, I did. The first word in the email was ‘unfortunately’. I knew I wouldn’t have to read the rest of it to know the message was, but I did anyway. She told me I should’ve taken every opportunity to raise my grade and do homework make-ups before the semester ended. I was even more discouraged in myself as I realized that what she said was true: I wasn’t doing everything I could to raise my grade before the due dates. I tried to convince myself I wasn’t disappointed, that I was glad I at least I didn't have an 86%. But, despite my efforts, I found myself softly crying that night.

If I could travel back in time to give myself advice during that moment, I would tell myself that I don't have to be perfect. In fact, I would tell myself to embrace the idea of being imperfect. Because the universal truth is that everyone makes mistakes, no matter how hard anyone tries to avoid it. Sometimes fixing them is beyond our control. However, we can always learn from them. Life is supposed to be a learning experience. But that is what makes living life such a beautiful thing.