My Best Worst Teacher by Rivka

My Best Worst Teacher by Rivka - July 2016 Scholarship Essay

My third grade teacher was the worst best teacher I ever had. Miss K. had a powerful presence, and cunningly used it to reinforce negativity amongst the students. She humiliated students publicly on a daily basis, rebuking the young, approval-seeking students for things about which they had not yet learned better. One example of this is that she encouraged us to notice acts of kindness, and every week she would publicly recognize one student for it. Unfortunately, she followed that up with publicly telling off students who had simply spoken like children - tactlessly. This perpetuated an atmosphere of tattling, disunity, and a trend of being constantly “insulted.” Another example is this one specific situation when Miss K. saw me outside the principal’s office. She looked at me with a grin and said, “Are you in trouble?” Naturally, I was embarrassed and deeply hurt by her words. These are just two examples of an attitude that shaped the year: I learned how to use the words offended, insulted, and embarrassed properly, but it wasn’t for vocabulary class. The dread and fear in some students went so far that a student switched out of her class halfway through the year.

It took me much longer to realize that I had been unhappy in her class. I saw Miss K. again almost a year later, and in response to her excited and energetic greeting (mostly directed at one her “favorites” who was there as well), had the sudden realization that I didn’t care. This led to further understanding over time, and she became my official “worst teacher” and third grade my “worst school year.” However, as I grew into an adult, things started to change. It dawned on me that it had been more than ten years since this experience, and I was still angry and hurt over it. I could not sincerely say that I forgave her, and that bothered me.

A few weeks ago, I found my binder full of worksheets from her class. It is still beautifully organized and complete, and full to bursting with her year’s curriculum. I was struck by the fact that seeing it gave me a warm feeling - not the bitter, resentful one I was expecting. It made me smile. Looking through the work now, it’s obvious to me that it is not on third grade level; it’s much too difficult. But I had not found it difficult at the time. I can’t speak for the other students, but the way she taught and the expectations she had of us were perfect for my specific capabilities. Knowing my own strengths and weaknesses, I can assuredly say that she taught me more and pushed me further than any teacher I ever had. I have never worked that hard before or after, and I have never come so close to my potential. When I found the binder I expected to feel the negativity that I experienced that year, but I all I felt was accomplished. I am proud of that binder, and I will keep it for a long time.

My experience with Miss K. that year combined with time and maturity have taught me an incredibly valuable lesson. Both aspects of the experience came together: she was an excellent and terrible teacher at the same time. The important thing is to be honest with myself. Yes, she hurt me. But she also taught me so much. If I would dwell on one I should dwell on the other, because I experienced both equally. For a long time I chose to focus on the hurt, but it’s just as honest - and much happier - to dwell on the positive. Now, I am only grateful for what she taught me, and proud of what she enabled me to accomplish. Most of all, I am so thankful to her for allowing me develop this perspective, because it has made me a much happier, freer person.