What Would I Say? by Reagan

What Would I Say? by Reagan - September 2022 Scholarship Essay

All my life I have learned a lot of different things. Now my view is colored by becoming my own person and growing up having the wisdom and knowledge I have now. Though there are a few things I wish I could tell my younger self. The most important thing I would say is to accept and respect myself more. Everything I will ever do leads to either success or failure but, they affect how I feel about myself. Staying happy through both of those things reflect my confidence and personal success. If I were to have fixed myself in the past, I could be different in some way. I wouldn’t be so hard on myself and have a little more respect.

There have been plenty of times where I have failed and just felt like I was going to go on shutdown. All because I felt like school and work were my whole life. I didn’t allow myself to have fun and that was horrible for me. Every little mistake felt like the end of the world. I had based my whole personality and life around school, and I regret it. I have felt like I’ve missed out on so much. It led to such a horrible burnout so fast on everything. It was only now in high school did I realize how toxic that mindset was for me. If I had been able to know how that would’ve affected me, I would have warned myself.

Having my support and respect for myself is the key to a happy life. I wish I could go back in time and tell myself that everything will work out, even if it doesn't seem like it at the moment. Taking a deep breath and pacing myself was all I needed, but I felt so pressured and forced that I didn’t even do that. It was hard to recognize that what I was doing was indeed bad, it had me feel so weak. I felt like I had to rebuild myself. However, I knew that struggling with inner conflicts can lead to great spiritual growth and personal fulfillment, as long as one does so intelligently and mindfully.

Every decision I have made though has led me to the present. I enjoy how my life is currently and maybe those old mistakes were needed. If I did tell myself my advice, would it cause a butterfly effect? Would I be who I am now? Every failure, heartbreak, success, grade, or injury, all of it has had some effect. I would love to tell my old self to have more respect and to accept myself. But you also must think about how much it will change who you are now. Does anyone want to risk possibly changing your future? My past self has made an impact on my present decisions and taking time to think back on my life. I consider where I would be today without any decisions made in the past. Sure, I would save any pain that I experienced, but I truly needed it to grow into the person I am today.