Balance is Key by Raven

Balance is Key by Raven - August 2022 Scholarship Essay

There was a point in my life, when I was a lot younger, where school was like riding a bike. I could grasp what was thrown at me so easily. I never struggled or never had to study. It made me love learning. It was like I craved knowledge. As if there was never a limit as to what I could learn.
As I got older, that easiness slowly started to slip away. For a minute I blamed myself. As if I weren't smart anymore. But I soon realized that it wasn't me but instead, it was the work that got harder. It was time for me to start applying myself. High school got harder, and the college classes I decided to take while in high school weren't easy either. I dragged my feet when it came to studying. For some reason I think that I had believed that I still didn't need to study or try harder. I had a hard awakening when my grades began to slip. I've always had this fear of failure. So, when my grades began to fall, there no longer was an option to study or not. I had to get everything back on track.
Once high school was coming to an end, I had mastered being able to manage my time and my school work. My next obstacle was college. High school is one thing. But college? That’s a whole other ball game. I began to stress that I wasn’t going to be able to find my balance in my school work. I was torn because I want to have a social life in college. I want to meet new people and make new friends. I want to make memories and enjoy my college experience because I only get one chance at it. But at the same time, I know that I can’t fail. I have to ace my classes and succeed.
For a while it was like the stress was building up until eventually, I would burst. But one night, I had a good long cry. I was crying for several reasons. I was worried college would be too hard. I was worried I would hate being so far away from my family. I was worried I wouldn’t be enough. But then it finally hit me. There is going to be so many people my age thinking the same thing. Many of us thinking that college will be such a challenge. That college is so big of a change for everyone. But more importantly, I’m not going to college just for me. I’m doing it for my parents too. As a first-generation college student, it's important that I succeed and pass college with flying colors. My friends and family will all be rooting for me. So, what more motivation would I need than that? My parents tell me all the time that I am one of the smartest kids they know. And if they think I can do it, then I should too.
My biggest goal is finding my foot hold and maintaining my balance. To be able to achieve everything that I want to accomplish in college. And to succeed with great grades throughout my four years. I now believe in myself more than I ever have. I know it won’t be easy, but I have such a strong and motivating family to be there for me when those struggles come. This all makes me so excited to see what awaits me on my college journey.