Its Okay to Feel Everything by Raina

Its Okay to Feel Everything by Raina - July 2025 Scholarship Essay

If I could give one piece of advice to my past self, it would be to stop trying to rush the healing process. When my dad passed away right before my senior prom and graduation, I felt like I had to hold everything together for everyone else. I told myself that if I just stayed busy with school and focused on college, I wouldn’t have to feel the weight of his absence as deeply. But grief doesn’t work like that. It finds its way in, no matter how hard you try to block it out.

I wish I could tell my past self that it’s okay to feel everything. It’s okay to cry in the car before walking into class. It’s okay to sit with friends and admit that you’re struggling instead of pretending you’re fine. At the time, I thought that letting myself fully grieve would make me weak, but I’ve learned that vulnerability actually makes you stronger. When I finally let myself process my dad’s death, I was able to start living again—not just existing and pushing through each day, but finding moments of joy and meaning even in small things.

If I had given myself permission to grieve earlier, I think I would have connected with people sooner and found my confidence faster. That’s why my advice is to embrace your emotions instead of avoiding them. Pain changes you, but it doesn’t have to break you. By facing it, you open up space to heal, grow, and move forward with purpose. I know now that my dad would be proud to see me strong enough to feel deeply and still keep going. That’s the kind of strength I carry with me every day.