Math vs Me: A Love/Hate Relationship by Rachel

Math vs Me: A Love/Hate Relationship by Rachel - July 2016 Scholarship Essay

The most important lesson I’ve learned from a teacher is one that he didn’t directly teach me. It was a slow realization for me, and by slow I mean it took most of the school year for me to figure out. This lesson came from my eleventh grade math teacher, Mr. Anderson.
Mr. Anderson has been teaching math at my school for many years and loves it to no end. I, on the other hand, had disliked math since freshman year. The quadratic formula? Parabolas? No thanks! I’d much rather write an essay on A Tale of Two Cities. My dislike of math came from my frustration with not getting the grades I wanted in the class. Instead of getting A’s I was getting B’s and C’s on my quizzes. I was so frustrated with myself and with math because it seemed like my hours of studying weren’t paying off at all.
Then, on the first day of my Junior year, I entered Mr. Anderson’s room for Honors Pre-Calc/Trig. The first few days weren’t so bad. We went through the typical first day orientation, and then we began some review material. When he announced that we would have quizzes every Friday, I started to panic. What if I don’t understand the week’s material? What if I fail the quizzes? How will I be able to keep my grade up? All of these questions kept swirling through my head on repeat. Every Thursday night for the next month I would worry, and every Friday until the quiz was over I would be distracted with anxiety. Math just wasn’t clicking for me. I started to dread going to that class. Though there were some topics I understood, it always seemed like there were always twice as many that I didn’t understand. When I finally went to seek help from Mr. Anderson and to ask for advice on how to do better, he didn’t really give me a straight answer. He said that I could ask him about what I didn’t understand and that he would try to help me, but ultimately it was up to me to change my grades. This got me thinking. Why did I not do well even though I was studying? How could I change that? What did I need to do differently?
I realized that my dislike of math came from my poor grades, not the math itself. Mr. Anderson helped me learn, through his unique style of teaching and his tough love demeanor, that if I had the right attitude I could do anything, even get A’s on my quizzes. By the end of second trimester I was getting more and more confident in my math abilities. I was getting only one or two points off on each test. And, for the first time since middle school, I got an A on my final. From that point on I decided that instead of saying “I hope I do well on this test” I said “I will do well on this test.” My grades and happiness level in class were directly proportional, and this time they were increasing. As I kept doing well on my tests and quizzes, Mr. Anderson’s attitude toward me changed. Instead of viewing me as someone who was skating by in class, he saw me as someone who was trying. My papers started to come back with small notes of encouragement, like “good work” or “nice job.” He started calling on me in class, which was nerve-wracking at first but later became more comfortable for me.
These small encouragements from Mr. Anderson helped me see that, while math was still not my favorite subject, I didn’t have to hate it. Because of him I found myself enjoying all of my classes more. Instead of dreading the next hour of math, I found myself actually somewhat looking forward to it. I didn’t fear test days anymore. I participated more. I was less afraid of what might happen and instead focused more on what will happen. Because of Mr. Anderson I learned that to change a situation, sometimes I need to change my outlook on it. This can-do attitude carried over to my other classes as well. I was no longer distracted on Friday mornings and I reaped “I will do well” for all of my tests, not just math. Just by changing my attitude, I changed my grades, and my school days became much more enjoyable. And for that, I owe Mr. Anderson.