All I had was a pencil by Rachel

All I had was a pencil by Rachel - June 2016 Scholarship Essay

I tapped my pencil against the cold plastic desk, waiting for the test to be given. My heart was pounding faster and faster as the hands of the clock sluggishly moved forward. "I can do this", I muttered to myself while anxiously awaiting my test. It was only fifty questions, but fifty questions was fifty too many. I felt my anxiety rise as I looked at the equations in front of me. Did she even teach this topic? I was flabbergasted at the monstrosity in front of my eyes. Surely, she had the wrong test... the wrong student? I marked A for number one.. "I have no idea what I'm doing", I silently whispered.
I had always struggled with Math. No matter what I did, or how many times I practiced problems the light bulb never quite clicked. This obstacle was such a challenge that I forced the thought of " You'll never be good at this" into my mind before I received a grade and even as I walked into the classroom. It was almost as if I was setting my mind into failure mode just because I "knew" I would do terrible. However, I knew this couldn't be the only way. I was smart. I excelled in my other classes. I could overcome this minor flaw.
I walked into the dusty room on a hot afternoon as the sun poured through the windows. She sat with her face downward as she read over the day's assignments, but as I walked in, she smiled and said " I'm so glad you came" in such a sweet tone that was as smooth as honey. As I sat down, I asked myself " Why did you come if you know you will never be good?". I watched her face twist as she muttered the words, " You don't have to be great at it all... Let's work through these together". The hours moved into minutes as I felt myself finally grasping the concept as she drew problem after problem. Before I left, I felt more confident in my skill than I had before.
The obstacle of math has been over come but, never forgotten. You see, my obstacle was in my mind. I was placed into a situation by my own self, as I thought of all of the reasons that I would never be good enough. However, because of one teacher's willingness and helpful nature that pours out like an endless river, I succeeded and overcame. I learned to believe in myself even when I thought I was never going to be able to accomplish the goal. I learned that a teacher is will to aid in the overcoming as well as cheer as you progress through into life. While an obstacle can be a monstrosity of sorts, it can also be a helpful hand in disguise. Without my obstacle of mathematical equations, I would have never learned perseverance and the importance of believing in myself even when it gets tough, and that is a wonderful learning experience in itself.