Mental Illness and Traveling Abroad by Rachel

Mental Illness and Traveling Abroad by Rachel - March 2016 Scholarship Essay

What class am I even in? She’s writing something in a language I can’t seem to understand. The girl behind me taps my shoulder and asks me to stop shaking my hand- it’s bothering her. The annoyed tone briefly brings me back to the room, enough to notice everyone else is writing. But I soon go elsewhere. I go to the sick kids I work with in the hospital, to my mom, to my best friend- Wait I have to check my email twice before I close my chromebook, one second! I start to feel it coming, and I can’t stop it because it's coming too fast. I’m losing control of my thoughts and I can’t get a grasp on any one of them. There are conversations around me and too many lights and now my heart is pounding out of my chest because I’m lost. I’m so lost, is this really happening or is it all in my head? Isn’t it always just in my head? My hands go numb, then my arms and then I throw up my heart, at least that’s what it feels like. I don’t feel safe, like there is some impending doom. It’s like that very moment in a car crash when you realize the guy behind you is not going to stop, or your car slips on the ice and you’re spinning, spinning, am I dead yet? God I hope so because all the while I think everyone else is learning something new. Maybe something about the essays? Or a new equation? I think I’m in the clear, I’ve gone unnoticed again, but is that a good thing anymore? What class am I even in?
Panic and other mental health disorders impact high percentages of high school and college students. Working off of my own experience, I know how debilitating and life threatening a mental illness can be. If all college students were required to study abroad, we would be forcing an experience onto an individual who may not be mentally prepared for it. For someone with a mental illness, stress and other intense emotions arise in their daily, normal life. Living in a different country for an extended period of time can trigger and make these mental illnesses even worse. Unhealthy college students should not feel obligated to put themselves at risk in order to fulfill a degree requirement. College education and degrees should be made available and accessible to everyone, not just a select healthy few. If this were to become a requirement, disabled persons would no longer have access to degrees, and that is pure discrimination.