Normal on outside; Puzzle on inside by Peter

Normal on outside; Puzzle on inside by Peter - April 2019 Scholarship Essay

I found myself wearing a white laboratory coat, standing in front of The Ohio State University’s Evans Laboratory. It took me a moment to focus because I couldn’t believe I was actually there in front of such a monumental building. Famous scientists took their first steps in this building, and I could not wait to start mine.
You see, my life’s journey appeared normal on the outside; however, inside, it was a puzzle, and I struggled to put together the pieces for seventeen years. When I was four years old, I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. I was told that my life would be a constant struggle dealing with smells, crowded rooms, and loud noises. My parents decided they would normalize my upbringing with a mainstream life, sending me to a regular school, not alerting anyone to my disabilities, because on the outside I was very high functioning. No one could sense my inner uniqueness nor the challenges I faced; only I did. Having to cope with daily life like an ordinary child, functioning normally while worrying about my disability, required me to strive to manage myself as I thrived on order. Every day I would look forward to the thirty minutes a day where I could solve puzzles through experimentation, where I was truly myself, science class.
For someone like me, shoving my life into a small box, normalizing myself consistently, science became my outlet where I could escape this void. It became my safe haven. I could go to this class and know that every part of me would truly be embraced, not to mention, I was pretty good at it. I continued this love through high school, taking advanced classes, and even doubling up on sciences because I enjoyed it so much. I was presented the opportunity to conduct research in a college lab, where I gained valuable experience working in an advanced setting. For me, science wasn’t just my way to build my resume or my social event for the day, it was a place where I could be entirely organized and have ultimate control.This was something I had sought after my whole life. I could escape the unsolved puzzles that controlled my life, and even, if only for a brief moment, get to solve one.