Facing The Truth by Paige

Facing The Truth by Paige - September 2022 Scholarship Essay

The concept of rejection and judgment haunted my thoughts throughout my childhood. I have had multiple people, from my immediate family members to the great uncle who was only seen once every couple of years, tell me how behaved and timid I was as a young girl. They’ve told me “you were such a sweet and quiet girl, I remember you used to sit there and be content doing nothing for hours on end”, along with telling me how lucky my parents were to have me. Although I was a timid child, many people today, including friends, have mentioned the amount of talking I do is overwhelming. However, my chattiness and upbeat personality is the reason I found the friends I have been wishing to have for years. They enjoy my intelligent advice and even my dumb moments. They laugh with me and not at me. If I ever need someone to talk to, I am positive someone will be willing to sit for quite a while to talk it out. These are the types of friends I had wished for, I had needed as a little girl. I didn’t have many friends who I felt not only I could trust, but I could also be myself around.
I knew I had a completely alternate personality than I was portraying, but I was way too scared that if I were to truly be myself, I’d be made out to be the weird kid. The truth is, I am a weird kid and the sooner I accepted that about myself the sooner everyone around me came to love me even more. I have never been so grateful for the friends I have made and have now, but I do wish I could go back and tell my younger self the friends I could have had.
The advice I’d give her would stick with her for the rest of her life, even if she weren’t to listen. I would be so grateful that someone would've taken the time to tell me that being perfect isn’t always the best option. Sure, having all the adults in my life love me was amazing. But at the end of the day, they aren’t the ones playing dolls with me or building Legos with me or teaching me things I probably shouldn’t know. Those kids and adults all those years ago didn’t get to experience the real me, and it makes me sad because I think they would’ve loved me even more than they already did.