The Road to Bliss by Noor

The Road to Bliss by Noor - April 2024 Scholarship Essay

To be blatantly honest, it has everything and nothing to do with passion. I won't sit here and pretend that I've dreamed about becoming an anesthesiologist since before I could talk, because I haven't. Don't get me wrong, I would love to be a part of saving lives through surgery in a way that I can handle, and the position is necessary. To further my point, my beloved grandmother, whom I adored all my life, recently passed away. She underwent surgery where, tragically, the anesthesiologist failed to perform their duty correctly. This failure resulted in a horrifying situation where she was not properly numbed before the surgical knife was plunged into her chest. Unable to voice her agony, she could do nothing but endure the excruciating pain in the silent confines of her mind. I understand and believe that mistakes are always going to happen and they're necessary for someone's character to develop, but in the medical field, one mistake can result in a devastating death or pain that makes someone wish death upon themselves, which is debatably worse. So, I am committed to doing everything within my power to prevent such a mistake from happening again.

My true passion and motivation, one that I genuinely have had since before I could talk, was animals, horses in particular. Horses are a part of my soul. Not literally, obviously, but as close to that as possible. Growing up, there were always a few animals in our apartment complex, ours or not. Okay, maybe more than a few. It ranged from ferrets to dogs to even a rabbit. We didn't have a lot of money, and we still don't, especially considering I'm the middle child of five daughters. However, even with our lack of finances, every single year for my birthday, what I wanted was a trip to the stables to ride a pony. I guess you could call me the Lorax of the horse world. My love for horses isn't unknown to anyone who has been around me for at least five minutes.

Horses are so dear to me that no one will truly know me unless they understand my love for horses. Everybody, including my parents, thought that my addiction would be a passing phase, as it had been for my older sisters, but it wasn't for me. My love only seemed to grow each year. When I couldn't be around horses, I would read books about them. It got to the point where I read every book related to horses in three of our local libraries, and they had to specially order books from other libraries. When I was old enough, I started to volunteer to help rehabilitate horses that were saved from the slaughter pipeline, and I was glad to be a part of why they learned to trust the touch of a human again. But of course, they also have a major part in shaping me. The nudge of a horse's muzzle on my shoulder on a day I felt as droopy as a wet flower healed me, just as it continues to. I always knew that animals would consistently be involved in my life, and if they weren't, I would make it happen. So, I did.

When I moved from Illinois to Texas in 2021, I left behind every horse, animal, and person I'd ever known and loved. It became incredibly difficult for me to head out to a stable or afford a pet, especially because, as I got older, I realized how dire our financial situation was and couldn't lay another worrying factor on my parents. So, I came up with other ways to be around animals that were more cost-friendly, like fostering. I got my first fosters on my birthday in 2023—three adorable kittens that I fell in love with. To date, I have fostered 15 kittens, puppies, and dogs. I continue efforts like this and hopefully increase them as well, which is only a possibility if I pursue a degree that can help me afford the lifestyle I strive to achieve. Now, you may be wondering what all of this has to do with anesthesiology, and the answer remains what it was in the beginning. Everything and nothing. As stereotypical as it sounds, to continue my efforts in being involved with the animal world, I need money, and I can't have money without a stable, well-paying job that I am connected to emotionally in some way because that's just how I work.

Whenever I get emotional about animal cruelty or similar topics, my sister suggests that I have "emotional diarrhea," and as weird as it sounds, I'm glad for it. I'm glad my heart possesses a sensitivity that makes me feel for the voiceless because I act on it and I'm dedicated to making real change. My goal ever since I could formulate ideas and plans, was to solely rescue a horse from the slaughter pipeline, and I will try until I reach it. The day I accomplish that is when I will know that no effort of mine was in vain, that it was all worth it. Anesthesiology is not an easy career choice to accomplish, but it is the one I chose and have devoted my further education to, and as you have seen, it is not for a singular, simple reason that I could even fit into words.