Tears, rocks and cookie dough: A geology journey by Nicholas

Tears, rocks and cookie dough: A geology journey by Nicholas - April 2019 Scholarship Essay

Each time my teeth cut into the crisp, chilled cookie dough, I seemed to forget a little more and more about geology.

I stopped by the dining hall express store about four times a week during the spring of my freshman year of college, always after my geology class. That’s not a coincidence. After the mile walk from the geology building to my residence hall, I almost always grabbed the container of frozen chocolate chip cookie dough meant for students to bake. I knew deep down this was not healthy for me – the scale told me the same thing. I didn’t care, though. For a few minutes while I chomped on the cookie dough, I escaped from thoughts of rocks and seismology.

Then, the inner questions of doubt returned moments after I finished digesting the cookie dough. Why can’t I understand geology? How am I going to pass this class, much less finish with a good grade? Am I smart enough to finish college?

All I had were questions, no answers, and too much cookie dough.

It turns out, that’s exactly what I needed to start the chain of events that led me to an A minus next to geology on my transcript. What started as questions of doubt and cookie dough somehow led to focus, dedication and perseverance as I overcame my greatest academic challenge to date.

I have plenty of letter grades now as a junior in college, but I’m not sure there’s another letter grade of which I am more proud. I can name a handful of kids who dropped out of the class in the last few weeks leading up to the final. They didn’t want to chance failing the class. Frankly, I can’t blame them. I almost dropped the class, too.

Our professor structured the class in a simple way – a midterm, lab grade, and final exam made up the three parts of our final grade with the most weight on the final. Many students, similar to me, didn’t sit in a good spot heading into the final weeks. The class average on the midterm was about 65 percent.

Then there was the lab, for which we sat in a quaint classroom and tried our best to memorize different rock types, structures, and other various applications of geology. I struggled to process the information and complete the assignments in the class time allotted. Our lab instructor, a graduate student, had not taught this lab before, so he didn’t quite understand how to best communicate what he knew as an expert to us geology newbies.

The discouraging labs combined with final exam anxiety prompted the daily sludging back to my residence hall, purchasing container after container of cookie dough along the way.

En route to the gobs of doughy goodness, I often called my dad. I needed someone to whom I could vent, often forcing back tears as I expressed my frustration. Never had Nicholas Kelly failed a class before. I could hardly believe that streak might end because of … rocks.

Finally, my dad told me enough is enough. I had two options – I could accept the failure or press forward.

I knew I would never become a geologist, but I sure was not going to allow myself to become a quitter. Not me. When I returned to my room, I set down my cookie dough and grabbed my textbook.

Then I studied, and I studied, and I studied. Did I mention I studied?

Over the next six weeks, I read every chapter twice. I met with my professors during office hours to ask follow up questions. I studied rocks in the geology library until it closed on several occasions.

Despite all the extra preparation, I still walked into my 8 a.m. final feeling vulnerable. It all came down to this. Fail or pass with a solid grade – both remained on the table. I didn’t know which outcome awaited me even when I handed in my exam, but I strolled out of that lecture hall with a smile on my face and a kick in my step because I finished. I didn’t quit, and I could live with whatever came next.

In that moment, it felt as if all the rocks I studied crumbled off my shoulders.

Of course, finishing with an A- didn’t hurt. Although, that was not what I took away from this experience.
Too often in college, students measure success by letter grades. We do everything we can to emerge with a grade that helps our GPA. And to be fair, that’s part of the system – we need good grades to graduate. We don’t look enough, however, at how and where we have the best chances to grow and mature. When I signed up for geology, I had no idea that I would learn perseverance and determination through a first-year general education course.

Amazing what a few tears, rocks and cookie dough can do.